Everyone maintains a congenial relationship. Participating fully in ensuring that what visits can happen do happen, etc. All these efforts are so the child won't have to go without. Obviously a child that went from being supported by two parents suddenly down to one parent is already going without.
There was no child support order because of the 50-50 sharing. (Equal time in each household, relatively equal incomes.) In the divorce was a stipulation that neither parent would move more than 50 miles. Interesting that this can be violated and the courts are fine with it... Why bother having something like that in an agreement at all?
Thank you all sincerely for all info. Seems like child is screwed.
No parent, male or female, is allowed to violate a court order.
The divorce, your divorce, didn't seek to litigate the issue(s) you're allegedly discussing.
What's your LEGAL recourse today?
You must take the matter(s) at issue back to court, in order for the court to rule on them.
That requires YOU to request child support, visitation, and custody to be decided anew. Many divorces do nothing to address child custody and support matters. Yours is an example of that.
You and your child would be best served if you discussed your legal options, deliberated on those options, then decided which options are worth pursuing.
I can assure you insofar as divorced parents are concerned, the child is best served when one parent is a sole managing conservator (that's what we call it in Texas), and the other has visitation rights, pays child support, and is in the child's life.
Sole managing conservatorship (SMC) means you are the only parent with the legal right to make certain decisions concerning your child. If you are granted SMC, you have the general rights given to a conservator and you are the only parent who has rights such as:
decide the primary (main) residence of the child;
consent to medical, dental, and surgical treatment involving invasive procedures;
consent to psychiatric and psychological treatment;
receive child support; and
make decisions concerning the child's education.
There are several reasons why a judge might grant one parent sole managing conservatorship:
The other parent has a history of family violence, neglect.
The other parent has a history of drugs, alcohol or other criminal activity.
The other parent has been absent from the child's life.
There is a history of extreme conflict between the parents over educational, medical and religious values.
You need to understand the legal options that best serve your child in NY state. I've described Texas, which is similar to NY, but there are unique differences. Talk to a lawyer, three or four lawyers, think about what you've learned, then decide. The initial consultation is normally provided at no charge. The Internet is not going to provide you with enough depth of information to choose what's best for your child.
Good luck.