Obtaining Custody of Nephew

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nnixon

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My fiance and I are thinking about trying to gain custody of our nephew. He is currently living with my mother and has been since he was born almost 5 years ago. My sister has popped in and out of his life and its just not fair to him. I also do not agree with the way he is being raised and my mother still allows my sister to make all the rules and decisions for him. I just want my nephew to be happy and not yanked around anymore. I have spent one day sometimes more a week with him since he was born and since we purchased our house last September he has stayed with us every weekend. He has everything he needs at my home, his own room clothes, toys and food. What should we do?
 
I suggest you discuss this with your mother and the child's mother. If you still think you'd like to pursue custody, discuss your desires with an attorney.

Do not get your hopes up, however.

The standard for maintaining your parental rights and control is very, very low in this country.

Lastly, the child has a father, somewhere.

That father, good or bad, kind or evil; has rights equal to that of the child's mother. It is all but impossible to obtain custody of any child over any living parent, even an incarcerated slug or druggie!!!
 
I just received the final court order last Thursday from my wife and I getting custody of my nephew.

We were able to get my mother, who had custody, my sister, his mother, and his father to all agree to it.

That made it very simple, of course.

You could try that route, and since they all agreed, I didn't need a lawyer.

If you aren't so lucky, you will need an attorney and there is still no way to know if you will prevail.

I feel where you are coming from, and my nephew's situation was similar to yours. I admire your effort and wish you the best.
 
of course she gets to make all the rules and decisons where he is concerned. this is her child, and whatever she says goes. and frankly you have no say in the matter and its not your business.
 
of course she gets to make all the rules and decisons where he is concerned. this is her child, and whatever she says goes. and frankly you have no say in the matter and its not your business.
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There is a old saying.... It takes two to have a child... but it takes the whole village to raise the child.

If your seeing things that are not right going on with this child then you need to sit down with the mother, grand mother and talking about your concerns. Maybe if you present your case (thoughts) maybe they will allow you to be more to this child. Good luck
 
Does your sis know who the father is? As the others have said even if he is not in the childs life he still must consent to it. Do as the others said and sit down with sis and see where it goes from there. Good luck to you.
 
By the way....how does mom have legal cutody of child as of now?
 
Really its non of my business. Explain to e how you figure that? Its my sister my nephew, i have him more than she does i provide for him more than she does. He tells me he wants to live with me. Every weekend he brings more and more of his stuff to my house. So explain to me please how its non of my business.
 
its not your business because you are this child's aunt, not his mother. thats why. and untill he is 18, he cannot live with anyone else without mom's permission. mom has rights, everyone else( including you) are a legal stranger with no rights at all. i suggest you stop trying to encourage this boy to decide to live with you before mom cuts you off from contact and there wont be anything you can do about it. if i found out my sister was encouraging my child this way, she would never see the child again, id make sure of that
 
I believe I said that he lives with my mother. And I don't encourage to do anything he is almost 5. He is a very smart little boy who makes his own decisions. My sister has went months without seeing him. And then a holidays comes up and she thinks she can tell us how things are going to go. And legally she does have that right. But when it comes to important things they are put off and she doesn't want to deal with them. My mother and I have taken him to all of his doctors appointments my car my time my gas. His mother was no where to be found. When he has needed something and my mom can't get it. I am called not his mother. There is so much more that goes into it. I just want to protect my nephew and make sure he is taken care of. And at this point thats not happening. I asked for positive help not someone to tell me to mind my own business. Thats what you need to do. I understand that it is very difficult to take custody of a child away from a parent. But when the parent is a 21 year junior high school drop out who doesn't work doesn't try to work. Has done a lot of drugs and has no interest in being a mother unless she can show off how well everyone else has made him. I think it is a lot my business!!!!!!!!
 
She has custody only because my mom doesn't want to try to take it. My mother doesn't do much better than my sister would. He is almost 5 and has no bed time except on the weekends when he is at my home. He eats whatever he wants whenever he wants again unless he is at my home. No one wants to teach him anything to prepare for kindergarten and I have only been able to do so much on the weekends. He is supposed to start school in August but that hasn't been taken care of either.
 
Thank You! It just worries me to tell my mother I think she is doing a horrible job raising my nephew. But he has no structure or routine at all. If you ask him where he is going to be every week the only thing he knows for sure is that he will be at my house from Friday until Sunday. The rest of the time its a toss up whether his mom wants to have him or if he will stay with my mother.
 
The bottom line is that you have virtually no chance of wresting custody from Mom against her will.

The child is in no imminent danger, and if he was, CPS would have been involved already - yes?
 
Proserpina is correct!

I understand it is a tough conversation to have. I was able to articulate to my mother that has done her job raising myself and my siblings, and now that she is older, she needs to enjoy the rest of her life instead of raising grandchildren. With my sister and his father, it was as simple as explaining to them what I had to offer my nephew and reassuring them that I would handle all court cost, and decline any support. Also, told them if for some reason, the court ordered it anyways, I would simply return their money when it was received because I don't need the money.

Your best bet is to figure out the best way to convince the parties involved why it is a good idea, and in his best interest. Otherwise, it will be a long battle that you likely will lose without consent.

I want to add that you have nothing to do with him in a legal sense currently. HOWEVER, as a person who watched my nephew go through things that no child should, I agree with you completely that it is your business personally, rather legally or not. No good person can sit and watch a loved one go through such injustices without taking offense. Good luck, and hopefully you can get consent and make everyone's life better.
 
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