Out of State Divorce Question

[proboner]

Hi,

After a three year marriage, my spouse left New York and moved to Hawaii. There, she filed for divorce and was granted one (Uncontested Divorce Decree without Children) without me ever having gone to court or signed any agreement. In the papers served by mail, it seemed to state that alimony was or will be granted in the amount of $1500 a month for 3 years. I have never paid a cent of alimony, I didn't see anything about alimony in the court records available on-line and no one has come to collect anything in all this time.

Here are my questions.

1) What are the viable grounds for seeking an annulment of the marriage? I believe she entered the marriage under false pretenses (I have a compelling story to share with an attorney if I can find out what the grounds for it are).
2) How can I find out if I will be financially responsible for that alimony (if it was granted)?
3) If annulment is not an option and I am going to be held responsible for that alimony at some point, can I contest that alimony judgment?
4) Since the divorce was filed in Hawaii, do I have to go through the Hawaii court system to look into this or can I do it here in NY?

The reason I am looking into this now (it has been about 8 years since the divorce was granted) is because I intend to buy a house and possibly get married within the next few years. The last thing I want is for this come back and bite me in the ass (or make my life miserable again). Thanks in advance.

D

 

[Proserpina]

1. Not possible. You're divorced and have been for 8 years.

2. The papers indicate what about alimony?

3. Nope. The time to object was 8 years ago

4. You'll have to go through Hawaii. But it's not going to matter - see #3.

Sorry.

 

[proboner]

Thanks for those replies. Anyone else got an opinion?

 

[army judge]

1) What are the viable grounds for seeking an annulment of the marriage? I believe she entered the marriage under false pretenses (I have a compelling story to share with an attorney if I can find out what the grounds for it are).

You are already divorced, according to what you've posted above.
Therefore, you can't annul what has already been dissolved via divorce.

2) How can I find out if I will be financially responsible for that alimony (if it was granted)?

If alimony was ordered by a HI court, you need to inquire of the court system in HI.

3) If annulment is not an option and I am going to be held responsible for that alimony at some point, can I contest that alimony judgment?

You need to speak with a lawyer in HI.

Or, you can start by speaking with a lawyer in NY.

As you seem unaware of this, you may have never been served properly.

She may have run to HI to avoid being divorced uncontested in NY.

If that is the case, maybe she perpetrated some fraud upon you or the court.

You can at least ask a lawyer to investigate the HI and NY situations appropriately.

4) Since the divorce was filed in Hawaii, do I have to go through the Hawaii court system to look into this or can I do it here in NY?

Yes, but see the answer above.

The reason I am looking into this now (it has been about 8 years since the divorce was granted) is because I intend to buy a house and possibly get married within the next few years. The last thing I want is for this come back and bite me in the ass (or make my life miserable again). Thanks in advance

I suggest you stay single.

Only buy a house if you can do so without a mortgage, otherwise home buying is a sucker's bet.

Run the numbers on a 20 year mortgage on a $250,000 loan at 4%.

You're better off renting.

A mortgage is just another form of DEBT.

If you can't get yourself out form under the alimony (its going to be very costly, because its accrued interest), plus it'll b much more than $1,500 a month now.

 

[Proserpina]

He was served.

See the first post:

In the papers served by mail

 

[army judge]

He was served.

See the first post:

Yes, that was on the divorce he is currently pursuing in NY.

My comment relates to the divorce mentioned from HI.

I really don't understand this fully.

The issue here is that 95% of these people desperately require a lawyer in their county and state.

They resist retaining a licensed lawyer in their jurisdiction, seeking words of wisdom to cobble together a DIY legal response.

What we do is minimal, we do try, but these problems are real; and can't be cured with a few words of wisdom via an internet post.

 

[proboner]

Army Judge,

Thanks for the response. Prosperina is correct. I was served via mail on the divorce filed in HI. However, I am not resisting going to a lawyer. I just wish to be better informed when I do. The HI divorce was a tough emotional blow to me and like most people who make bad emotional decisions, I buried my head in the sand and ignored it. I believe this person probably did perpetrate fraud towards the US government and myself which is why I was asking about the terms for a viable annulment. If having a divorce granted (without my participation other than getting served by mail) makes an annulment an invalid option, then that was the clear answer I was looking for. When I go to a lawyer and they tell me the same thing, I won't think he/she is trying to take me for a ride. I will also look up the law (if I can understand it) to verify my options as much as possible. I don't expect to understand the law but at least I can look at it and hopefully glean something from it.

<soap box> I hate posting in forums for answers but if I don't, I really don't have a lot of sources to ask the simple silly questions that maybe someone who has gone through it before already knows the answer to. Unfortunately, I always expect and get answers laced with judgment and lacking in the actual answers to my questions. This is not my first post to a forum on a myriad of topics. Eventually, someone reads what I wrote and actually answers the questions I ask instead of projecting whatever issues they have onto someone just trying to be less ignorant. <soap box>

Thanks for your reply.

PS I don't intend to finance the house. I don't like paying for a house and a half but only getting one. Besides, even if you actually get to the end of a mortgage in the same place, you probably wanted to leave or torch it long before then.

 

[Proserpina]

Yes, that was on the divorce he is currently pursuing in NY.

My comment relates to the divorce mentioned from HI.

I really don't understand this fully.

The issue here is that 95% of these people desperately require a lawyer in their county and state.

They resist retaining a licensed lawyer in their jurisdiction, seeking words of wisdom to cobble together a DIY legal response.

What we do is minimal, we do try, but these problems are real; and can't be cured with a few words of wisdom via an internet post.

It IS about the Hawaii divorce.

 

[Proserpina]

Army Judge,

Thanks for the response. Prosperina is correct. I was served via mail on the divorce filed in HI. However, I am not resisting going to a lawyer. I just wish to be better informed when I do. The HI divorce was a tough emotional blow to me and like most people who make bad emotional decisions, I buried my head in the sand and ignored it. I believe this person probably did perpetrate fraud towards the US government and myself which is why I was asking about the terms for a viable annulment. If having a divorce granted (without my participation other than getting served by mail) makes an annulment an invalid option, then that was the clear answer I was looking for. When I go to a lawyer and they tell me the same thing, I won't think he/she is trying to take me for a ride. I will also look up the law (if I can understand it) to verify my options as much as possible. I don't expect to understand the law but at least I can look at it and hopefully glean something from it.

<soap box> I hate posting in forums for answers but if I don't, I really don't have a lot of sources to ask the simple silly questions that maybe someone who has gone through it before already knows the answer to. Unfortunately, I always expect and get answers laced with judgment and lacking in the actual answers to my questions. This is not my first post to a forum on a myriad of topics. Eventually, someone reads what I wrote and actually answers the questions I ask instead of projecting whatever issues they have onto someone just trying to be less ignorant. <soap box>

Thanks for your reply.

PS I don't intend to finance the house. I don't like paying for a house and a half but only getting one. Besides, even if you actually get to the end of a mortgage in the same place, you probably wanted to leave or torch it long before then.

Hmmm. You don't have to give any real details - but would your Hawaii ex happen to be here via immigration?

 

[army judge]

Well, all I can say about marriage is, it is the number one cause of divorce.

So, if you want to avoid divorce (and who doesn't), don't get married.

As with most things in this life, they are vastly over rated.