Parent relocation in Missouri

[mousie82]

My husband an his ex-wife just ended a court case regarding my husband's right to designate his parents to pick up his two children in the event that he has to work during the designated pick-up time. At the same time, he was attempting to reduce his child support on the grounds that since it had been figured, his ex-wife has obtained a job (She was previously unemployed.) During the case, his ex-wife refused to provide proof of her child care expenses, but claimed that she was losing her state aid due to her getting a job. She has had a job for at least 2 years that we know of, so it sounded fishy. Regardless, my husband dropped the action to decrease child support based on her figures of child care expenses, etc. The weekend after the case was over, she moved without notifying my husband, as Missouri law states that she should. She has moved in with a friend and her child. The house is apparently not big enough for this many people, as her 4 year old son is sharing a bed with her, and her 5 year old son is sharing a bed with her friend's 10 year old son. My husband does not feel that this is appropriate living arrangements. Also, we do ALL of the driving regarding pick up and drop offs of the kids. This move has added an additional hour of driving time per week (We have the boys every weekend but the first weekend of the month.). Well, it will be an extra hour whenever she decides to TELL him that she has moved. The children have told us about these new arrangements, and his ex-wife asked him to pick them up at her parents' house this weekend. On top of not notifying my husband, she has also quit her job, and the child care expenses that she was claiming are no longer existent. We feel that all of this was very calculated and low. Is there any recourse that we can take?
Basically:
1. What can we do about her moving without notifying him?
2. Are there minimal standards of living that she should be providing the children with (i.e. their own beds to sleep in)?
3. Would not disclosing her plans to move and/or quit her job, therefore changing not only her income, but child care expenses, less than one week before the move, be considered fraud? Especially regarding child support?
4. At the time of the divorce, she did not have a driver's license. Now she does. The court refused to order her to drive even part way due to my husband moving from Missouri to Kansas. Now that she has moved without notifying him, and is causing him extra driving, is there anything that can be done?
5. Also, this move means that the children will not be going to the schools that are specifically stated in the divorce decree. To us, this just confuses the whole issue. Would all of this in some way be considered contempt?

Also, a lot of people are taking the action to reduce child support as negative on our part. It is not only based on the fact that she now is employed, but also on the fact that over half of my husband's income is gone to child support and insurance for the kids. We also must supply all clothes, down to shoes and coats, as the children often come to us dressed inappropriately (shorts and snow boots on a summer day, windbreakers on a snowy day) and with nothing other than the clothes on their backs.

I apologize for this being long-winded, but I would really appreciate any honest feedback on this. It has really caused a lot of stress for us. Thank you in advance!

 

[jacksgal]

"You" do nothing your not a party to this and any involvement a judge finds out about will hurt your husbands case. If he feels she is in contempt then he should instruct his Attorney to file a contempt motion

 

[mousie82]

I'm not planning on doing anything. I'm just his "information gatherer." I understand that this is his fight - but as their step-mother, I AM concerned as well.

 

[jacksgal]

Being concerned is great. My intial answer still stands tell him to have his Attorney file for contempt

 

[mousie82]

He contacted his attorney immediately. The attorney does not seem at all concerned by any of this. He doesn't think that an hour of driving a week is much, but on our incomes, it is HUGE. Also, a lot of our concern stems from the sleeping situation. Also, it is a big deal to us that all of these plans were hidden during the court case, causing a lot of attorney expenses to be, in our eyes, wasted. To us, the facts are that my husband does not even KNOW where his kids are living now. Is it out of line or advised against finding a different attorney?

 

[jacksgal]

Your concerns and judges may differ. The move is something that can be brought up. He could also bring up any existing order of who provides transportation etc. These are minor issues however and you and your husband should make sure your concerns are related to the child and not any anger towards child's Mother

 

[mousie82]

Our concerns are probably a mixture. There is definitely frustration at his ex-wife for, in our eyes, lying and hiding things. But there is genuine concern about the living arrangements - At what point do children need their own beds?? She threw an absolute FIT when she found out that they slept on air mattresses in our old apartment on a temporary basis - Now, at our house, they have their own room (they share) and beds. It seems as though her standards for us don''t apply to herself. Also, my husband was lectured extensively during this court case about moving. He moved two years ago to Kansas and had misunderstood the law when it said that notification was required if the "primary residence" was changed, and notified her after the fact since she had residential custody. This is the second time she has moved without notifying him, though, and this time, it seems like a lot of deception was involved. We will definitely contact another attorney about filing an order for contempt, but we are just trying to gather whether anything can or will be done, or if it would be a waste of time.