citygirlprovidence
New Member
Hello,
First off, I should mention: I'm a 29-year-old female. I live in an artists' live/work building that was converted from a factory several years ago, and I recently found out that the building was never zoned as a residence. My landlord didn't let me know this when I moved in, so I'm afraid of losing my home if I file a police report or seek a restraining order regarding this issue.
The issue itself is this:
When my boyfriend and I first moved into the building, we lived with a roommate, whom I'll call A. A commented from time to time about his having "a problem with women," but I thought he was joking. Slowly, however, I began noticing him eavesdropping on me. He became angry when I only did my share of the housework; he said that I "should obviously be doing all of that stuff." He told me himself that he had been seeking out my friends to let them know what a [insert misogynistic word here] I am, and the friends he mentioned confirmed this to me. A did or said these things almost exclusively when my boyfriend was not present. I should mention that I have never raised my voice to him, nor have I ever spoken to him in an impolite or disrespectful tone, regardless of how he spoke to me.
Eventually, after several nights in a row of A power-drilling over and over into the wall between his bedroom and ours until 4 or 5 AM, we told him that we'd be moving into another apartment in the same building. We politely told him that it was nothing personal, but simply that our schedules conflicted with his, and we offered to help him find a new roommate, and to continue paying rent until he found someone. For some reason, however, he became furious. Since we've moved into our new apartment, A has done a few things that have made me fearful of him. He started out by standing outside our door and talking loudly into his phone, or playing a portable stereo, or using his power drill throughout the night, despite our living in the opposite end of the building from him. One night, around 2:30AM, I got up to use the bathroom (we share a bathroom with A and several other people in the hallway of the building). When I opened the door to our apartment, A was standing about 3 feet away from my door, coldly staring at me. When I jumped, startled and afraid of him, A laughed.
The scariest incident, however, was last night. I was in the bathroom, getting ready for bed, around 11PM. Suddenly, someone started punching and kicking the bathroom door in a violent, threatening manner. Unsure of how to react, I said "Hello?" Sure enough, it was A; he said "KNOCK KNOOOCK" in a loud, sing-song, sarcastic voice. Afraid, I said "Sorry, I'll be right out." I walked out of the bathroom less than a minute later, but A was nowhere in sight. I ran home and went to bed. I woke up again around 3:45AM, and had to use the bathroom. Again, while I was in the bathroom, A began violently and threateningly punching and kicking the door. "Is there ever going to be a [expletive] time tonight when I can use this [expletive] bathroom?" he shouted. Terrified, I very politely apologized, and explained that I had only just come back to the bathroom, and that any time he simply knocked I would get out of his way as quickly as I could. A actually growled at me, and in a louder, more aggressive voice than I had ever heard him use, he screamed "I ALREADY KNOCKED!!" and kicked the door so hard that the entire room vibrated. Needless to say, I ran back to my apartment terrified, and couldn't sleep for the rest of the night.
I called my landlord (whom I've never met in person) today to alert him to the situation, but he answered, "I don't want to get in the middle of that," and added "I don't want to speculate about his mental health, but..." and trailed off. He asked me not to file a police report because "it might jeopardize everyone's situation," which I took to mean that he feared the city would throw us out because the apartments (as the landlord only recently told us) are not zoned for residence.
I am seriously in fear for my safety, especially in light of the threatening nature of A's physical violence at the bathroom door. However, I don't want to lose my home. What can I do??? Any advice would be deeply appreciated.
First off, I should mention: I'm a 29-year-old female. I live in an artists' live/work building that was converted from a factory several years ago, and I recently found out that the building was never zoned as a residence. My landlord didn't let me know this when I moved in, so I'm afraid of losing my home if I file a police report or seek a restraining order regarding this issue.
The issue itself is this:
When my boyfriend and I first moved into the building, we lived with a roommate, whom I'll call A. A commented from time to time about his having "a problem with women," but I thought he was joking. Slowly, however, I began noticing him eavesdropping on me. He became angry when I only did my share of the housework; he said that I "should obviously be doing all of that stuff." He told me himself that he had been seeking out my friends to let them know what a [insert misogynistic word here] I am, and the friends he mentioned confirmed this to me. A did or said these things almost exclusively when my boyfriend was not present. I should mention that I have never raised my voice to him, nor have I ever spoken to him in an impolite or disrespectful tone, regardless of how he spoke to me.
Eventually, after several nights in a row of A power-drilling over and over into the wall between his bedroom and ours until 4 or 5 AM, we told him that we'd be moving into another apartment in the same building. We politely told him that it was nothing personal, but simply that our schedules conflicted with his, and we offered to help him find a new roommate, and to continue paying rent until he found someone. For some reason, however, he became furious. Since we've moved into our new apartment, A has done a few things that have made me fearful of him. He started out by standing outside our door and talking loudly into his phone, or playing a portable stereo, or using his power drill throughout the night, despite our living in the opposite end of the building from him. One night, around 2:30AM, I got up to use the bathroom (we share a bathroom with A and several other people in the hallway of the building). When I opened the door to our apartment, A was standing about 3 feet away from my door, coldly staring at me. When I jumped, startled and afraid of him, A laughed.
The scariest incident, however, was last night. I was in the bathroom, getting ready for bed, around 11PM. Suddenly, someone started punching and kicking the bathroom door in a violent, threatening manner. Unsure of how to react, I said "Hello?" Sure enough, it was A; he said "KNOCK KNOOOCK" in a loud, sing-song, sarcastic voice. Afraid, I said "Sorry, I'll be right out." I walked out of the bathroom less than a minute later, but A was nowhere in sight. I ran home and went to bed. I woke up again around 3:45AM, and had to use the bathroom. Again, while I was in the bathroom, A began violently and threateningly punching and kicking the door. "Is there ever going to be a [expletive] time tonight when I can use this [expletive] bathroom?" he shouted. Terrified, I very politely apologized, and explained that I had only just come back to the bathroom, and that any time he simply knocked I would get out of his way as quickly as I could. A actually growled at me, and in a louder, more aggressive voice than I had ever heard him use, he screamed "I ALREADY KNOCKED!!" and kicked the door so hard that the entire room vibrated. Needless to say, I ran back to my apartment terrified, and couldn't sleep for the rest of the night.
I called my landlord (whom I've never met in person) today to alert him to the situation, but he answered, "I don't want to get in the middle of that," and added "I don't want to speculate about his mental health, but..." and trailed off. He asked me not to file a police report because "it might jeopardize everyone's situation," which I took to mean that he feared the city would throw us out because the apartments (as the landlord only recently told us) are not zoned for residence.
I am seriously in fear for my safety, especially in light of the threatening nature of A's physical violence at the bathroom door. However, I don't want to lose my home. What can I do??? Any advice would be deeply appreciated.
