planning to get divorce with a child

[springsummer]

First I would like to say thank you to all who share their advices/ opinion.

I've been married for 6 years now and its about 2 years that my marriage is so rough we even sleep in different rooms and no intimacy. My husband he loves to call me names like FU, idiot, dumb, yell at me infront of people and what he did is no lack because he is married to me. One day he told me that he doesn't loved me anymore for about 2 years but then the next day he said it was just a joke. Everytime we argued he always told me that I can go back to the philippines anytime I want but without our daughter. My questions are
How to start to file for divorce?
Whats going to happened with my daughter?
He always told me that I can't have her
Is it okay to file for divorce even I don't have a job?I have no family here but I have friends.


Please help me what to do.

 

[Proserpina]

You can file for no or low cost: http://www.mncourts.gov/selfhelpcenter <== this will help

Custody will depend on several issues. If one of you has been the primary caregiver (I mean doing to day-to-day things, not financially), that's going to go a long way.

He can tell you what he likes, but please remember something. He is NOT looking out for your best interests at all. He cannot bully you for custody. You don't need a job to file for divorce or to get custody.

But, I do have one question. Are you here legally? If you are - great. If you're not, you're going to need some different options.

 

[springsummer]

Thanks for the respond to my post proserpina.
Yes, im legally here.
Im the primary caregiver of our daughter I remember he only change her diaper like 4x since she was born and she's 3 yrs old now but he is a good supporter when it comes to financially. I asked him one day to help me take care of her but what he said "you're the one wants the baby so you take care of her" can I use this against him?

 

[Proserpina]

Then yes, you're obviously the primary caregiver.

The courts are generally extremely reluctant to change this with a child so young - specially here, since Dad would not actually be taking care of her (she'd need to be in daycare or something).

It's important that you try your best to not find things to use against him. When you do that, the court very often thinks that you're more concerned with "getting back" at Dad, not what is actually in the child's best interest.

So use the link, and start looking at local Legal Aid centers, too.

 

[springsummer]

Thank you so much for your advice. To get divorce is it necessary to have a valid reason why you wanted a divorce? I know we both not happy with our marriage. I try to work things out but it doesn't help at all he seems he doesn't care but the problem is he would not let me go hes using our daughter to make me stay. He gamble a lot and I dont like it thats one of the reason why we argued and currently he quit hes job.

 

[Proserpina]

No, MN is a "no fault" state, and this means you don't need a reason or even his agreement to get divorced.

It's also important that you and your child have somewhere safe to live. Make your welfare your first priority, and after that you can think about the rest. You can also file for temporary custody and child support.