pregnant teen rights on living location

[gdstone58]

My 17 year old daugther is pregnant, she said she knows who the father is however, he is 16, has dropped out of high school in the 9th grade, been in & out of juvie & is addicted to meth. She is no longer seeing him but he knows she is pregnant & she still stays in contact with him electronically. I know he has no rights while she is pregnant & we have decided to list the father as unknown on the birth certificate because we don't want the child exposed to a father like that
I have recently retired & will be able to support my daughter & grandchild without the fathers support...we don't want or need his support. Since I have retired I would like to move out of california & take my daughter with me. However, I don't know the laws on relocating my daughter after she has the baby or if we should relocate before the baby is born. I need to know if we leave california before the baby is born would he need to come to that state (tenessee) to try & battle possible custody (after a dna test) or if we wait and she has the baby in california then we move will we have to come back to california for the courts? She has a great ob doctor & I would love to leave after the baby is born...and after this semester in high school...but would leave sooner if it would make our life easier in the long run.
Thank you!
Concerned mom/future gma!

 

[Proserpina]

The courts don't care what you think.

The court cares that the child has access to both parents.

If Dad files, the very least he'd get is joint legal custody with ample visitation.

Incidentally, lying on those papers is a crime. If Dad makes a fuss, your daughter just might end up being the visiting parent.

 

[army judge]

Hmmm, 16 years old, huh?

I'd be very careful about using a stick.

I hear a carrot on stick does occasionally work.

 

[CdwJava]

My 17 year old daugther is pregnant, she said she knows who the father is however, he is 16, has dropped out of high school in the 9th grade, been in & out of juvie & is addicted to meth.

Ah, so a crime has been committed!

She is no longer seeing him but he knows she is pregnant & she still stays in contact with him electronically.

And this means that they are NOT seeing each other? Really?

I suspect they are still seeing each other on the sly. You might want to tighten that electronic leash and get a phone that allows you to electronically monitor your daughter and her location.

Since I have retired I would like to move out of california & take my daughter with me. However, I don't know the laws on relocating my daughter after she has the baby or if we should relocate before the baby is born.

BEFORE the baby is born, you have every right to take your daughter wherever you choose. AFTER the baby is born, the alleged father can file for paternity and muck the whole thing up. But, of course, he'd also be confessing to a crime by admitting paternity, so it's a two edged sword.

If he has the resources and the cajones, he can TRY to ask a court to keep her here pending the birth of the child and paternity, but that's a Hail Mary shot and not likely to occur.

I need to know if we leave california before the baby is born would he need to come to that state (tenessee) to try & battle possible custody (after a dna test) or if we wait and she has the baby in california then we move will we have to come back to california for the courts?

That depends on what TN requires for establishing residency for child birth.

 

[disagreeable]

At his age he is unlikely to travel to TN and wage a paternity battle. That said, at 18 she might jump on a bus to go to him. My advise is don't let her drama screw up your retirement. She has an entire adult life ahead to screw it up more than you ever will by this.

 

[CdwJava]

At his age he is unlikely to travel to TN and wage a paternity battle. That said, at 18 she might jump on a bus to go to him. My advise is don't let her drama screw up your retirement. She has an entire adult life ahead to screw it up more than you ever will by this.

I think that is the most likely end result if she doesn't runaway first.

 

[gdstone58]

Thank you for your input!
A few questions...what crime has been commited that you are referring to...the HS drop out and meth? I'm sure they are not seeing each other, her school is over 15 miles from our home and I drop her off at the time school starts and as soon as school is out I am there to pick her up. When she isn't in school she is with me and not left at home alone...I'm not giving her any available time to see him.
I will check into residency in TN., we are going to tennesse at spring break to check the area out to move & if we find a place we will start the process. My concern is the OB doctor we have here is super and she wants to have the baby here...
The kids dad has money, however I don't believe he will want to pay out for court costs because the of kids drug addiction...the kid went into rehab last week though.
I really want what's best for my daughter & my grand child...and his dysfunctional drug addicted (him, his mom & his brother) family is not a good environment for them to be in.
Thanks again for your thoughts.

 

[Proserpina]

The crime would be having sex with a minor.

I'm in some disagreement with the general consensus here, if only because when you start laying down the law after the pregnancy has occurred, teens have this odd little tendency to thwart any and all attempts at the parents wishes to control the situation.

Any attempt to hold court over putative Dad and his family are likely to backfire. Though it's not always the case, there are many, many, many judges who will simply respond with, "Well, she should have thought about that before she decided he was good "Daddy" material".

There's also something which is unfortunately being glossed over, and though this is going to sound harsh, it still needs to be said.

I understand you're doing what you think is right. But the reality is that you have absolutely no rights over your grandchild. None. I can actually see Dad and his family making an almighty fuss if they figure out that this is more your wishes than those of your daughter. You also need to understand that you will never be able to control how often and where Dad sees his child. If Dad and his family really want to make a big deal out of it, your daughter may just end up being the visiting parent.

@Carl - sure, Dad might be admitting to a crime. But so will the daughter and she's the older out of the two. If he's guilty, so is she. With that said, it's a misdemeanor at worst. Neither of these kids are going to do any time.

 

[CdwJava]

Thank you for your input!
A few questions...what crime has been commited that you are referring to...the HS drop out and meth?

The sexual relationship.

I'm sure they are not seeing each other, her school is over 15 miles from our home and I drop her off at the time school starts and as soon as school is out I am there to pick her up. When she isn't in school she is with me and not left at home alone...I'm not giving her any available time to see him.

You might be surprised at the creativity of a child "in love." There is also social media, friends, phones, and computers.

I really want what's best for my daughter & my grand child...and his dysfunctional drug addicted (him, his mom & his brother) family is not a good environment for them to be in.

It's rare that drug-addicted, dysfunctional families have money. So, either your characterization is askew, or they don't have the money you think they might.

 

[CdwJava]

@Carl - sure, Dad might be admitting to a crime. But so will the daughter and she's the older out of the two. If he's guilty, so is she. With that said, it's a misdemeanor at worst. Neither of these kids are going to do any time.

Yes, it's a misdemeanor, but the courts here can and have ruled that the sexual act can only be perpetrated BY the male against the female and like it or not the male is often found culpable when the female is not. And, you might be surprised about the jail time issue ... we got a couple here doing time in similar situations. But, given the lack of resources in the justice system in CA these days, chances are slim that anyone will do jail time. But, counseling, probation, and child support are very likely for daddy - and a criminal protective order keeping him from mommy except for child custody exchanges.

Usually it's about the leverage to make daddy pay child support, but that is not always the case.