Questions about regaining custody

[AmandaM]

My ex husband currently has custody of our two boys 7 & 4. At the time of our divorce I entered into a settlement agreement to give him custody. I was having an affair with a younger man who I met online. The gaurdian ad litem that was assigned to our case was against me from day one because of the affair. Although I can understand where she was coming from because my actions were tearing my family apart, I had been a stay at home mom for 6 years, raising my two boys. I knew with all of these things against me I was most likely going to lose custody. So that is why I entered into the settlement agreement. Since then I have married the man I was having an affair with. We have been married over a year now. I see my boys regularly and have them in the summer. My ex lied about his lifestyle during our divorce. Bascically he looked great and I looked terrible. I don't do drugs, I have never hurt my children, I have never put them in harms way. The only thing I did was have the affair. Now my ex allows my boys to go to hooters to see the hot chicks he says... my seven year old. He allows him to listen to vulgar music. He was taking him to counseling during the divorce but as soon as it was final he stopped taking him. My husband and I have witnessed him slap my son across the face. My son has also told my sisters and family members about this. Nevertheless, I am wondering if I stand a chance at a modification of custody? My ex makes a lot more money than we do. But we are stable in a nice area and our own home. I still am a stay at home mom with my daughter by my current marrige. All the things that he allows the boys to do and see are these even reasons a judge would change custody?

 

[Duranie]

Probably not enough to change custody. You have really posted anything that would result in a change of custody. The slap across the face apparantly never got reported to that probably will not go anywhere this late in the game. You can certainly file for more visitation but change of custody is unlucky.

Do you pay child support?

 

[AmandaM]

I do pay child support. I have been paying $750.00 a month. That was decided when I was working and hadn't had a child yet. I was making 32,000. Now I am no longer working and my husband doesn't even make 30,000. But my ex just recently called me and said he didn't want me getting a job to pay him support so he said I didn't have to pay anything anymore. he just recently received a raise for 100k. I haven't asked for this agreement in writing, would that be a good idea? Also as far as custody goes, he is mentally abusive cussing at them, yelling, calling them names, they get spanked with one of those paddles the long ones that Fraternity's use. I have taped phone conversations with him being abusive would that help? I realize this will take a lot of work but I'm not giving up those are my boys this every other weekend crap isn't cutting it, I'm the mother.

 

[Duranie]

You still have kids to support so you really cannot stop paying child support. If your husband has agreed to not have you pay it, that is really gracious of him. I guarantee if you ask for a custody change, not only are you likely not to get it but he will probably ask for child support again. You will continue to stack up CS arrears if it is not cacnelled through the courts. not sure if the courts will allow you to not pay anything, a small amount is usually calculated. If you still want to try for custody you'll have to see an attorney.