V
va_bluebell
Guest
- Jurisdiction
- Virginia
This is going to be a little long-winded, but I need help and don't even begin to know where to turn.
My grandmother was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2012 and it has metastasized to her brain. In recent months, PET scans have found that the lesions on her brain are in the frontal lobe and are affecting her short-term memory, cognitive abilities and coordination.
In March of 2015, my grandmother's son was arrested for domestic abuse of his wife. He ultimately was convicted of felony abduction by force (firearm) and assault and battery of a family member. He spent 15 months incarcerated and was released early due to Virginia's "good behavior" bill. Since his release, he has been living in my grandmother's home. He does not work, as he claims he is disabled (though he has been denied Social Security Disability three times, even after hiring a lawyer). In addition to being a convicted felon, he is also a retired police officer. Both his name and mine are listed on her bank accounts, but I do not receive statements regarding her accounts. My grandmother's son has a long history of "borrowing" money for bills, only to spend it on escorts and erotic massages (his wife confronting him regarding these actions this part of the reason for the domestic dispute that resulted in his arrest and convictions).
My grandmother had a will written when she lived in another part of the state many years ago. At the time, my mother was still alive and the will left my grandmother's house, any possessions in the home and a few acres of the land to her. In the event of my mother's death, these things are to be left to me; my mother passed in 2010. The will also states that the remaining land (about 10 acres) as well as any vehicles owned by my grandmother at the time of her death are to be left to her son, and likewise in the event of his death, these things are to be left to his daughter. There is one bank account that is to be split between her son and I, another that is mine alone and a savings account that goes to his daughter. Her son is also the executor of the will and holds durable power of attorney.
Here's where things start getting complicated. My grandmother's health is getting worse. This week, her son took her to the hospital ER because she was very confused and disoriented. I was not made aware of her being admitted to the hospital until two days after the fact. In that time, her son has been at her house, with her car and all of her debit/credit cards and checkbook completely unsupervised. From what I am able to gather from the doctors and nurses at the hospital, they are requesting that my grandmother go to a skilled nursing facility; she refuses, so more than likely in-home nursing care will be starting soon after her discharge from the hospital. My grandmother has a hard time grasping new information, remembering conversations and understanding relatively simple instructions.
What I need to know is what are my options in regards to having durable power of attorney revoked from her son? Is there a way to have an unbiased third party act on her behalf and make sure that her son is not robbing her blind, taking advantage of her and mistreating her? I know for a fact that he emotionally and verbally abuses her, but without physical proof I can't report him for elder abuse. My other concern is what will happen when my grandmother passes - can he contest the will, even though it is clearly stated what each person is entitled to? Because my grandmother is, for now, mostly lucid, I cannot reasonably expect a medical professional to make the determination that she is unable to make decisions regarding her health and finances, but I also don't want it to get to that point, either. When my grandmother passes, her son will have nowhere to go and very little money will be left to him, which will more than likely result in him taking drastic measures to ensure that he doesn't suffer.
My grandmother was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2012 and it has metastasized to her brain. In recent months, PET scans have found that the lesions on her brain are in the frontal lobe and are affecting her short-term memory, cognitive abilities and coordination.
In March of 2015, my grandmother's son was arrested for domestic abuse of his wife. He ultimately was convicted of felony abduction by force (firearm) and assault and battery of a family member. He spent 15 months incarcerated and was released early due to Virginia's "good behavior" bill. Since his release, he has been living in my grandmother's home. He does not work, as he claims he is disabled (though he has been denied Social Security Disability three times, even after hiring a lawyer). In addition to being a convicted felon, he is also a retired police officer. Both his name and mine are listed on her bank accounts, but I do not receive statements regarding her accounts. My grandmother's son has a long history of "borrowing" money for bills, only to spend it on escorts and erotic massages (his wife confronting him regarding these actions this part of the reason for the domestic dispute that resulted in his arrest and convictions).
My grandmother had a will written when she lived in another part of the state many years ago. At the time, my mother was still alive and the will left my grandmother's house, any possessions in the home and a few acres of the land to her. In the event of my mother's death, these things are to be left to me; my mother passed in 2010. The will also states that the remaining land (about 10 acres) as well as any vehicles owned by my grandmother at the time of her death are to be left to her son, and likewise in the event of his death, these things are to be left to his daughter. There is one bank account that is to be split between her son and I, another that is mine alone and a savings account that goes to his daughter. Her son is also the executor of the will and holds durable power of attorney.
Here's where things start getting complicated. My grandmother's health is getting worse. This week, her son took her to the hospital ER because she was very confused and disoriented. I was not made aware of her being admitted to the hospital until two days after the fact. In that time, her son has been at her house, with her car and all of her debit/credit cards and checkbook completely unsupervised. From what I am able to gather from the doctors and nurses at the hospital, they are requesting that my grandmother go to a skilled nursing facility; she refuses, so more than likely in-home nursing care will be starting soon after her discharge from the hospital. My grandmother has a hard time grasping new information, remembering conversations and understanding relatively simple instructions.
What I need to know is what are my options in regards to having durable power of attorney revoked from her son? Is there a way to have an unbiased third party act on her behalf and make sure that her son is not robbing her blind, taking advantage of her and mistreating her? I know for a fact that he emotionally and verbally abuses her, but without physical proof I can't report him for elder abuse. My other concern is what will happen when my grandmother passes - can he contest the will, even though it is clearly stated what each person is entitled to? Because my grandmother is, for now, mostly lucid, I cannot reasonably expect a medical professional to make the determination that she is unable to make decisions regarding her health and finances, but I also don't want it to get to that point, either. When my grandmother passes, her son will have nowhere to go and very little money will be left to him, which will more than likely result in him taking drastic measures to ensure that he doesn't suffer.
