Really long complex three-state child custody/visitation madness

[zosaphinazero4]

In October of 2008, I left my husband for four years when he stole our rent money to gamble it away. That was the last straw after battling with him and his family, who were involved with growing and selling marijuana. We were residing in California, and I took my son to my parents' house in Washington state. I did not know at the time that this was considered "kidnapping" despite the fact that several matters were putting the livelihood of my son and myself in danger. the state of california summoned me back to California--naturally--after my husband decided to file for divorce the day that i left. I had no moral support in california, no job, no idea how to go about anything, and an attourney who offered little advice. Needless to say I had no idea how to go through a six month or more trial, and it seemed I had no choice to return to Washington, where i had a support system, and a job. This gave my husband the custody of my son. I have joint legal custody, and two weeks of visitation in my state, and I can go down any time to visit him, as long as i give 24 hours notice, and I get phone conversations with my son three times per week (assuming that his father answers the phone.)
My son--who was not able to speak at the age of nearly three--was in speach therapy, and after the family business (which was mainly a cover for their marijuana sales) getting destroyed in a big earthquake, my husband and his entire extended family decided to move to the Kansas City, Kansas area. This was a good move for everyone, whereas my son was put in a good school where he could get his special speech a lot of much needed attention, and Kansas City is much more accessible than remote northern California.
Now that they have been there for 8 months, my husband (who will hopefully be my ex husband before too long... just waiting for the signed papers to show up in the mail.) is not cooperating, and is not allowing me to visit my son. I have seen him once in the last year. I have tried again and again to arrange to see him, and my "ex" will say everything from "we're busy" to "he has school" and refuses to work with me. I am not even asking him to miss school!
I am still residing in washington, and i want to know what to do, and where to go from here. i don't know whether to persue council in Kansas, where my ex and my son are now living, or if i need to continue to lpersue this issue in california since this is where the original stipulations were set. I have asked my attourney (who is out of california, and is basically a big giant waste of money) what would happen if i moved to kansas--would I be able to change to joint physical custody so i can actually see my son? He told me he didn't think it would be smart to move to kansas, because he doesn't know the laws down there.
I am feeling utterly hopeless. I don't have a criminal record, I am a good parent, and I just want to have my son back. he's going to start Kindergarten in the fall, and i want to be a part of that. I just don't know what to do or where to turn. I don't even have any friends or family who have ever been divorced, or even seperated!

Can anyone help me?

 

[bluemann33]

As for now you need to hire an attorney and take the matter up with california courts since that is where the custody was established. He cant not let you have visitation if the court order says you do. You may also check to see if he was allowed to move out of state with the child also. You could move to Kansas and go back to court but first I would go to the courts in CA since it seems he has not obeying court orders. Good luck to you.

 

[army judge]

Hire another attorney.
Your husband appears to have violated the custody order in place.
He has done what he claimed you did.
You can file contempt proceedings against him in California.


This would force him and the boy to return to California.

You could litigate the matter before the California courts.


When an court order is in place, both parents must obey it.
You have.
He isn't.

Haul his ass back to court and resolve it.

 

[Proserpina]

OP, what exactly - word for word (minus names) - does your order say about visitation?


Frankly the court isn't going to do anything about the move to Kansas at this late stage.

 

[jlo25th]

Im in agreeance with some of the comments, i would say go back to the court that granted u the visitation, file for a violation of court order. Has your son been in kansas longer then 6 months, if so that would be considered his home state. this somewhat happened to me, and i was able to file a violation of court order, then the father has to show cause of why, if moving out of state is not stipulated in the custody order, then its really nothing you can do about that. just file the violation, and when the hearing goes up, ask the judge if he can add into the order for the father to at least bring the child back to the state that you are for visitation, i think that should be punishement enough for violating your rights. im sorry this happened to you