Regain Custody/Shared Custody

[needslegalhelp]

Hi all,

My girlfriend is the non-custodial parent, she bascially has no rights to visit, etc. Recently it has come to our attention that her daughter may be living in a bad situation and the father never lets us see her and says they're too busy and she has no rights.

We live in 1 county of florida, but they live in a county about 100 miles away.

We've heard of the new 12.905(a) form, and we're thinking this is what we need to file.

1) I understand we need to file the case in the county where the child lives, does that mean we have to physically go to court just to file the paper work or can we do this by phone/email/fax? If you don't know the answer, who do we inquire with?

2) Is 12.905(a) correct to use? because there isn't really a parenting plan to modify she doesn't have custody.

3) In simple terms, what do we do, do we mail 12.905(a) to the county clerk's office or do we mail it to the father too? I understand we've been told to "file" the form with the court, but what does that mean.

4) It seems we may not qualify for legal aid, but when we contact our local attorneys they tell us they won't take a case so far away or want a ridiculous $10,000 retainer fee. When we contact attorneys in the other county they say we have to live in that county for them to help.

Anything you can provide will greatly be appreciated,
god bless

 

[MorgansDaddy]

You could do it without a lawyer. Can you show your claims to be true of the "bad situation?" You don't need to tell me but expect to provide this in court. As far as filing, you could maybe do it by mail, I would call the clerk in the county where the child lives and they will tell you what steps you have to take to file for custody and exactly what forms. How old is the child? It's possible the courts could assign a guardian ad litem to the child to represent the childs best interest. I would just contact the county clerk first to find out how to file and what paperwork to file and go from there.

 

[warrenwhite]

You have to check with th county clerks office in that state. Some will let you do it by mail or fax. The county I had to go to, did not accept mail or fax. I'm not sure what form you are speaking of. Is it emergency custody hearin? That's what I had to do. If you have ANY evidence of child endangerment, or any allegations, collect it now. Go into court prepared. I am doing this without a lawyer, because I can't afford it. Try going on different web-sites for free legal advise. If you are low income try legal aid. Make sure you can prove you can provide better care for the child. If you go to the court hearings, try to get witnesses to go with you to testify on your behalf.

I know what you are going through.

 

[needslegalhelp]

You could do it without a lawyer. Can you show your claims to be true of the "bad situation?" You don't need to tell me but expect to provide this in court. As far as filing, you could maybe do it by mail, I would call the clerk in the county where the child lives and they will tell you what steps you have to take to file for custody and exactly what forms. How old is the child? It's possible the courts could assign a guardian ad litem to the child to represent the childs best interest. I would just contact the county clerk first to find out how to file and what paperwork to file and go from there.

she's about to turn 15

It appears we need to use snail mail for the paperwork, but when I called the office and told them about the 12.905(a) form she said she had no clue what that was and just referred me to flcourts.org, which has the form listed on the site:
INSTRUCTIONS FOR FLORIDA SUPREME COURT APPROVED FAMILY LAW FORM 12.905(a),
SUPPLEMENTAL PETITION TO MODIFY PARENTING PLAN/ TIME–SHARING SCHEDULE AND OTHER RELIEF (03/09)

It appears we'll really need a lawyer at least to help prepare.

any advise for what affects the child's best interest:

I know abuse for example, but a kid doesn't have to be abused to be in a horrible living situation, what about bad grades in school how important is something like that?...........it's very important to us but to a court?

 

[jharris352]

I'm not sure I understand your case. How is it that a natural mother has "no rights" and "no visits" and "no parenting plan?"

I might could refer you to someone that could help.

 

[needslegalhelp]

I'm not sure I understand your case. How is it that a natural mother has "no rights" and "no visits" and "no parenting plan?"

I might could refer you to someone that could help.

There's no parental plan in place, dad has sole and permanent custody.

What I really want to know is will a judge think failing school is enough to turn over custody or consider shared custody?

What other ammunition can we use if the girl isn't being abused?

I need examples of what has swayed judges in the past to reconsider custody.

 

[Proserpina]

There's no parental plan in place, dad has sole and permanent custody.

What I really want to know is will a judge think failing school is enough to turn over custody or consider shared custody?

What other ammunition can we use if the girl isn't being abused?

I need examples of what has swayed judges in the past to reconsider custody.

I can promise you one thing - you need to step back a little. If you become too involved you can ruin her chances at changing the situation as this really isn't your legal matter.

Now, what PROOF is there that there has been a change in the child's circumstances?

 

[Proserpina]

Also, how did Dad end up with sole custody and Mom with NO visitation? That is highly unusual and the reasons why may make a huge difference...

Why hasn't Mom filed for visitation?

 

[needslegalhelp]

I can promise you one thing - you need to step back a little. If you become too involved you can ruin her chances at changing the situation as this really isn't your legal matter.

Now, what PROOF is there that there has been a change in the child's circumstances?

grades steadily downhill

 

[Proserpina]

grades steadily downhill

That is rarely enough to change custody in and of itself.

There could be many reasons why her grades are falling.

 

[needslegalhelp]

That is rarely enough to change custody in and of itself.

There could be many reasons why her grades are falling.

1) is it enough for shared custody?

2) what is enough then?............I need specifics, perhaps we have ammunition but don't realize it because we're not legal experts

 

[Proserpina]

1) is it enough for shared custody?

2) what is enough then?............I need specifics, perhaps we have ammunition but don't realize it because we're not legal experts

WHY was Dad given sole custody, and why hasn't Mom filed for visitation?

This IS important.

(and how does Mom know the grades are slipping?)

 

[needslegalhelp]

WHY was Dad given sole custody, and why hasn't Mom filed for visitation?

This IS important.

(and how does Mom know the grades are slipping?)

legally because of a default judgement

she had been told when she sought out help that she didn't really have a chance and believed it

school, child and father confirmed it

 

[Proserpina]

legally because of a default judgement

she had been told when she sought out help that she didn't really have a chance and believed it

school, child and father confirmed it

Do you mean Mom was served with custody papers and didn't respond/answer?

WHEN was custody decided?

How often has Mom seen her daughter since then?

 

[needslegalhelp]

Do you mean Mom was served with custody papers and didn't respond/answer?

WHEN was custody decided?

How often has Mom seen her daughter since then?

yes, basically was out of town at the time

over 5 years ago

several times, but only when the dad allows it so many times she's turned away

 

[Proserpina]

yes, basically was out of town at the time

over 5 years ago

several times, but only when the dad allows it so many times she's turned away

At this point it's unlikely that your girlfriend can get physical custody. She does, however, NEED to file to have visitation established - if she hasn't already - because then she can file a motion for contempt every time Dad doesn't allow court-ordered visitation. And she should file for joint LEGAL custody.

Obviously Mom has some contact with her daughter - so, what is being done about the grades? Is kiddo getting extra tuition? When did this start?

And how many times is "several"? When was the last time?

(I realize you may think I'm asking too many questions - but they may well affect the likelihood of success for what your girlfriend wants to do, k?)

 

[needslegalhelp]

At this point it's unlikely that your girlfriend can get physical custody. She does, however, NEED to file to have visitation established - if she hasn't already - because then she can file a motion for contempt every time Dad doesn't allow court-ordered visitation. And she should file for joint LEGAL custody.

Obviously Mom has some contact with her daughter - so, what is being done about the grades? Is kiddo getting extra tuition? When did this start?

And how many times is "several"? When was the last time?

(I realize you may think I'm asking too many questions - but they may well affect the likelihood of success for what your girlfriend wants to do, k?)

I believe I understand, shared custody is better than nothing. What does she have to prove to get visitations & shared custody?

 

[Proserpina]

I believe I understand, shared custody is better than nothing. What does she have to prove to get visitations & shared custody?

She doesn't have to prove a thing - just needs to file (where Dad and kiddo live) in court.

These are things she is entitled to ask for without having to justify her reasons.

Physical custody, however, is another matter entirely. THAT needs a substantial change in either Dad's, or the child's, circumstance. I want to be clear though - joint LEGAL custody does NOT mean that her daughter will not still live with Dad.

So, get girlfriend to go here and download the appropriate forms (Florida is actually VERY helpful for pro se - those without an attorney - clients).

http://www.flcourts.org/gen_public/family/forms_rules/index.shtml

 

[needslegalhelp]

what do you do in a situation like this?

do you just file for visitation and hope for the best or do you take a stand and say no my child deserves better than what she's getting?

can we ask for proof of what child support goes towards each month?

 

[Proserpina]

what do you do in a situation like this?

do you just file for visitation and hope for the best or do you take a stand and say no my child deserves better than what she's getting?

can we ask for proof of what child support goes towards each month?

Girlfriend needs to file for visitation.

Dad is NOT required to provide an accounting of child support - it's paid to reimburse him for the cost of raising the child. He could, if he chooses, spend the entire amount on beer and movies provided the child is housed, fed and clothed.

I'll be blunt. Part of the problem is that your girlfriend hasn't, before now, done much to facilitate her own relationship with her daughter. That does matter, and the fact that she and her daughter have seen each other infrequently is also a strike against your girlfriend. Realistically, girlfriend COULD have been doing a lot more to get things going.

She also appears to have very little to justify changing physical custody at the moment. At this point, girlfriend simply wanting to change custody isn't a good enough reason.