My mother is 81 yrs old and was recently diagnosed with dementia & beginning signs of Alzheimer's. She lives alone and is a pack a day smoker. While my sister and I have been taking care of many of her daily needs for the past few years, her needs have now become full-time. Since we both work and have families, we no longer have the capacity to care for her. Currently we are paying her bills, do her grocery shopping and laundry. She gets meals on wheels but other than that she does not prepare any other meals. We have been in touch with her doctor many times with our concerns that she needs full-time care in a nursing home. My mother refuses to go and her doctor states he can not force her. Recently, The Office of the Aging made a visit to her apartment and called her Doctor out of their concern for her living conditions and lack of self care. Her Doctor told the Office of the Aging that he believed she was not capable of making a good decision. Finally her doctor agreed to have her hospitalized for some testing and then admitted to a nursing home. Now that she is in the hospital the Doctor has changed his story and states she is capable of making her own decisions and plans to send her home. We have told the Doctor that if she returns home we will no longer be a part of her daily care. This is not out of spite but rather out of preservation of our own health and needs. Caring for her is full time. Her speech is repetitive, her hygiene does not exist, she is living in filth, dirt, clutter, a smoke filled apartment with no social contact other than us. She has COPD and severe curvature of the spine and is in no way physically able to drive or take care of her basic needs. We only want better living conditions for her but we keep hitting road blocks with doctors saying they can't force her to go to a nursing home. PLEASE HELP. What legal options doe we have? We know she has rights, but so do we and we both feel we are being forced to take care of mother which exceeds our capacity with our own commitments.
p.s. Office of the Aging agrees with our assessment of the need for a nursing 100%. They have tried to offer in home care and she refuses that as well.
p.s. Office of the Aging agrees with our assessment of the need for a nursing 100%. They have tried to offer in home care and she refuses that as well.
