Single parent in Military, arguing about custody.

[adelade]

Hello.
My ex and I were not married when my son was born. We have not been together since my son was 2 and he is now 6.

Last year, his father enlisted in the military (Army full time). At first, he said I needed to sign something that stated I have full custody but I refused because obviously I was mad about his enlistment. He said he couldn't join without me signing something so the army knew I had full custody.

Well I guess it's a shame I didn't because somehow he enlisted anyway.

He is stationed only 5 hours away (Figures) so he keeps demanding weekends from me and getting angry if I cannot accommodate. Last night, he threatened a lawyer on me and I am quite certain there is absolutely nothing he can do.

Everything I've read says that a would be soldier needs to sign something saying he isn't responsible for the child, nor can he regain custody when he is already enlisted or he can get booted.

I intend on getting a lawyer but I wonder what the process is from there? If anyone knows? It seems like it is clear cut. thanks!

 

[army judge]

Before an unmarked male can lay claim to a child, he has to first has his paternity proven and established. The state will assist him in doing so.

If soldier X didn't establish his paternity, you don't have to allow him to see, visit, or touch your child. In the law's eyes, he's a legal stranger.

Now,if he wants to prove his paternity,go ahead, let him do so.

The Army will eventually force him, with your prodding and help, to pay child support, court ordered child support. The support will also be back ordered, to compensate for him not supporting his child.

The Army will also require him to arrange for giving you an ID card to use the commissary, PX, and access FREE health care for the baby. If he's in the Army when the kid turns 10, the kid gets an ID card,too.

If I were you, I'd Google ( YOUR STATE child support process). Look for the state agency in your state that will assist you for FREE in proving his paternity and making sure he pays you for child support.


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[adelade]

Oh, I actually have all of that. He is on the birth certificate, pays support, Etc.

The only issue is him demanding weekends from me and threatening me when I am pretty sure there's nothing he can do about that. (Re :usmilitary.about.com/od/joiningthemilitary/a/enlsingparent.htm)

We have no court order that deals with custody is the problem.

Thanks!

 

[army judge]

Oh, I actually have all of that. He is on the birth certificate, pays support, Etc.

The only issue is him demanding weekends from me and threatening me when I am pretty sure there's nothing he can do about that. (Re :usmilitary.about.com/od/joiningthemilitary/a/enlsingparent.htm)

We have no court order that deals with custody is the problem.

Thanks!

Well, he is entitled to visitation.

Why?

He's established himself as dad.

The court will order what is to be done.

Its best if you negotiate it or discuss it with him.

He will eventually get to keep the child for weekends, even weeks.

I suggest you prepare for that eventuality.

 

[Proserpina]

Oh, I actually have all of that. He is on the birth certificate, pays support, Etc.

The only issue is him demanding weekends from me and threatening me when I am pretty sure there's nothing he can do about that. (Re :usmilitary.about.com/od/joiningthemilitary/a/enlsingparent.htm)

We have no court order that deals with custody is the problem.

Thanks!

Slow down - you're seriously misunderstanding the issue.

A single parent cannot enlist while they have full custody. That much is true (unless it's NG/Reserves).

This does NOT mean that they aren't entitled to visitation!

If he files, he WILL get visitation. You need to get used to the idea. And fast.

 

[adelade]

Thanks I didn't know I'd get the bonus emotional advice but I'll dig up this thread in a few weeks and let you know the outcome!