Son Doesn't want to go with Mom.

[jblanchard]

I have sole custody of my 14 year old son. His mother has visitation through the court. She is currently getting out of an abusive relationship and staying in a Battered Woman's Shelter. She asked if she could continue her visitation at her father's house and I had no problem with it. However, my son has expressed that he does not wish to go and stay there. I told him it was his decision, but he needed to talk to his mother and explain it to her. She flatly told him "too bad I have a court order."

His mother has been hit or miss over the years. I have had custody since he was 2 and she has missed chunks of time, been late or just absent for many of those visits. She just started to pay a meager child support after 10 years because she said she has a nervous condition that prevents her from working full time. This of course didn't stop her from taking off for a month to travel to Africa to start an orphanage. My son sees this behavior and is starting to resent it. I have always maintained that he should visit his mother, but I also see his point. I do not denigrate his mother in front of him so this is all picked up from observation. Also, the tension in her house with her soon to be ex was a major factor for him.

I was wondering if there is an age when he can make a decision to visit or not in Ohio? I will follow the leter of the law, but didn't know if this was something I should pursue on his behalf?

 

[disagreeable]

The age he can decide is soon approaching. It is 18.

 

[Disabled Vet]

This is one of those cases where I wonder what the courts are thinking. If a kid (child) 14 doesn't want to see his mother/father for like the above reasons the court will force them. The courts feel like they are not old enough to make a adult choice. If the same kid was to kill someone then they try him in court as an adult. Doesn't make sense..... children are children....

Maybe someone will come along soon and give you the legal standings on this issue.

 

[Proserpina]

Actually, in Ohio, there are circumstances where a court order can be changed in order to allow the teen some discretion when it comes to visitation.

One thing Dad needs to stop IMMEDIATELY though is allowing his son to make the decision WITHOUT the court giving him (the son) that right. Mom is absolutely in the right, here.

Dad should speak with a local attorney - some counties are more inclined to allow a teen to decide than others which may simply flat out deny the request.


@Disabled Vet. I understand what you're saying - but there's a huge difference. You're comparing apples to hedgehogs, really. This isn't about the child's rights, nor is it about a child choosing to commit a crime and be held responsible for the aftermath - this is about the PARENT'S right to parent their child.

 

[army judge]

@Disabled Vet. I understand what you're saying - but there's a huge difference. You're comparing apples to hedgehogs, really. This isn't about the child's rights, nor is it about a child choosing to commit a crime and be held responsible for the aftermath - this is about the PARENT'S right to parent their child.

My comment is relative to what is called "parenting" in the 21st Century United States of America: "Parent = a man, woman, or transgender that bore a child (possibly sired a child), and became a "father" or "mother", after IT has born (or sired) a child(ren)!"

Yeah, 21st Century "parenting" in these here United States of America.

Man, I'm so thankful I had a mother and father, and was not unlucky or unfortunate to have grown up in the last third of the last century of the last millennium!!!

 

[mightymoose]

Dad's two options are to either abide by the existing order or seek a modification. Perhaps a modified order will address the location that visitation will or will not take place?
The kid has no veto power over a court order.