Step father trying to turn my mom against family.

[Guest]

Step Parent Trying to Break My Family Up and Throw Me in Juvenile

Hi I'm reaching out to expertlaw because I need insight on this. I'm 16 male I live in missouri, and I wanted to know that is it possible for me to leave out of home if I'm being held there againsnt my will. And can my step father and biological mother put me into juvenile for leaving if I'm being emotionally abused . Yesterday i left the car because my step father whispers(pulled aside) my mom to tell her I couldn't stay in the car, even though my mom said I could. After i got out i confronted my stepfather about this and walked away in frustration to call my sister to come and pick me up. My sister willing to come and pick me up says that even tho she knows my situation says, they can call the cops on her to come and bring me home from her house.

My father just passed away a couple of months ago and I had to transition to Missouri to live with my mom and her husband. To make a long story short, my step father pulls my mom aside and whispers things to her on what she has to do. because I overheard him talking to my mom and saying "if you wanna be my wife, you have to do everything I tell you, without hesitation. u understand? Ive been on punishment for about. Weeks now and they have assigned me an extra month this month. Because I had to come home yesterday

What has been going on is that, I feel like he's trying to turn my mom against my family because when my sisters or relatives try to help me, my mom now rejects their help because my stepfather has implanted in her head that. My sisters and relatives are trying to run things, their trying to make a fool out of you and ,saying that they can't make any rules in my house (I understand this one and my sisters aren't trying to make rules, but are only trying to do things in my best interest by asking my mom could they do certain things concerning me). He has also implanted in her head that. Shes the mom and she knows best and that you're not suppose to correct the mom, she had you, you didn't have her. So my mom is now rejecting my siblings help, because of my stepfather who I have only lived with for about 3 months now is telling her that basically even when she is in error we cant correct her because she is the mom. Whenever I try to voice my opinion my mom tries to talk over me, saying I'm backtalking and contending and then raises her hand and restorting to hitting me for speaking my mind. I feel trapped with nowhere to run to at this point. I don't want to run to my sisters and have them go to jail because I ran out of my stepdads house to go to them. And if I do leave home my stepfather said I only have 1 chance to act right and "obey", he told her to take away my phone to prevent me from taking to family, and if i do contact one of them about whats going on inside the house they are sending me to juvnile, He says I'm disobeying / disrespecting my mom, how can i be disobeying my mom when they aren't even her words in the first place. And he tells her what to do and say,

I'm not a bad teenager, I have good grades, 12th grade and taking ACT test this spring, attend a private school for which my siblings pay the tuition for me to go. I'm very intelligent, I do photography, video editing, computer coding and 3d modeling, and i want to be an architect and major in Architecture and have a minor in Interior design . My mom dosent realise that throwing me in a juvenile will prevent me of many opportunities and delay me of getting the proper education I need.

Help me to resolve this issue please.

 

[army judge]

You have no say in anything. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it ain't fair. Society doesn't care. You play by mom's rules until you're 18, or she can make your life very uncomfortable. No, you can't leave home without repercussions. Why? Because, society wants to make kids miserable!! So, they make these laws to teach kids to do as they're told.

Not really, we all follow the law. When we don't, we reap negative consequences.

Be smarter, keep your mouth shut, wait a couple years, and you're free. That's not that hard.

 

[Proserpina]

The reality is this:

Mom rules. To a great extent, so does step-Dad. Your siblings don't get to decide, and neither do you.

You're still grieving, hon. It's a very painful process and it's one fraught with ups and downs, misunderstandings and every negative emotion you can think of.

With that said, this is really very simple. While you live there, you go by Mom's rules. Even if you don't like them. You don't get to leave because think badly of Mom or your stepDad, and you don't get to leave because you don't like their rules. If you're grounded, it's perfectly legal. If you're grounded because you say your piece, it's also perfectly legal.

Mom has a point, too. Every single time your sisters try to get involved, they're actually undermining Mom's rules. Every time you open your mouth to disagree with Mom or her husband, you're undermining her rules.

The truth is, you do what they say and go by their rules until you're legally an adult.

If you runaway, you're going to end up with much bigger problems.

Play by the rules. Go to grief counseling (even an online group can help you). Stick it out. You can make it.

 

[Betty3]

Agree, Mom makes the rules while you are living with her. When you are 18, you can leave. If you are ever neglected, emotionally/mentally abused or physically abused that CPS or the police would consider abuse, then you report it to someone. Based on what you posted, this doesn't sound like the case.

 

[cbg]

And if Mom is parroting Stepdad, that's a too-bad-so-sad situation. Doesn't matter why she's making the rules, she's making them, and that is both her right and her obligation. It's called, parenting, and it's what parents are supposed to do.

You're in a painful situation, I know. I'm not discounting that. I'm not just saying, suck it up, you've got no rights, callously. But there isn't a law that is going to let you go live somewhere else without permission, until you're 18. There just isn't. We're not telling you that because we don't understand how much you want out; we're not telling you that because we don't care about your situation; we aren't telling you that because you're a teenager and what do you know anyway. We're telling you that because that is what the law says.