Use of DV to get custody

[dadx2kids]

If I had a statement from a close party, that conversed with my soon-to-be ex that said-

"She also stated with much resentment that she was waiting for any chance of Steve doing something mistakenly but then intending on using that to take custody of the kid's immediately. She never mentioned through the divorce filed."

And came over for visitation and caused this to happen, and she does have a history of confilicts and then taking kids all reported, what can be done with this info in court?

 

[CdwJava]

That statement is so ambiguous as to be irrelevant.

If the claim is that she instigated a DV incident and lied about it, then the person who has information about her premeditation (if that is what you think this is) should come forward.

But, instigating an argument is not a defense for someone else hitting them. So, unless the plaintiff/victim LIED about the incident (made something up about being attacked), this potential pre-planning may be irrelevant.

That statement above is rather ambiguous. So, perhaps you might explain a little more clearly as to what happened, and who said what to whom.

- Carl

 

[dadx2kids]

She stated" I don't have to tell you that she planned this, right?" And she did come forward after the fact. Also, your a cop, your biased, I wanted a legal person to answer. A cop never says anything against another cop or discredits his motive. I've seen your reply's to others. This is not a forum for you to defend against your own. I'm a father that was wrongly accused and no one "hit" anyone. There's more to the statement given to the police that are inflammatory and emotional, she never said we we're going through a divorce, I had custody because of previous DV on her, and never said we've been separated for 3 years and she was allowed visitation at my house or that she normally took my sons, on the weekends starting on Friday. She made these alternate claims of these facts on Thursday saying she came to pick them up like always. She was never abused and I have never been abusive. But she made it sound that way, so what was the law supposed to do? Wait for me to explain? No. You arrest now, and if he can afford a lawyer, leave him to the system. But this was unfair and unjust to use in this way. I think you know that it's possible to do that. And at the hearing, I will tell the Judge what I know and heard that will discredit this for my son's and myself, because I have been stable for 15 years. She has not had a job, nor a place to live ongoing and just has recently had a place to live this past three months. She had no where before then. And she has been recieving unreported income having avoided CS that wants to serve her. No, I won't say anything that is not true, but she would and has had incidents before this that we're abusive I indicate this in my Petition. And without a lawyer, a Public Defender does no good in this system.

 

[CdwJava]

She stated" I don't have to tell you that she planned this, right?" And she did come forward after the fact.

Okay. Then her statement may be useful at court ... provided she was actually told that this was a set-up. If she was just hypothesizing, then that is of no legal value.

Again, unless she lied about being struck, whether she pushed your buttons and got you to hit her or not is not going to be very relevant.

Also, your a cop, your biased, I wanted a legal person to answer.

Yep, I'm a cop and I'm biased for the law. Oh, and I am a "legal person". If you are asking for an attorney to answer, you may have to go out and consult one.

A cop never says anything against another cop or discredits his motive.

If one of these parties are a law enforcement officer, you have not mentioned it, so how could that POSSIBLY bias my perspective?

I've seen your reply's to others. This is not a forum for you to defend against your own.

So ... your ex-wife is a cop, then? How do the cops come into play here??

I'm a father that was wrongly accused and no one "hit" anyone.

Good. Then take your evidence and your witness to court.

But she made it sound that way, so what was the law supposed to do? Wait for me to explain? No.

The explanations are for trial or for the follow-up investigation. Sorry, but the cops are not going to stand around trying to solve the whole case while they are at the scene. If they placed you under arrest based upon her lies, and these lies can be proven, she could face both criminal and civil sanctions.

Yes, it might be wrong, but that's the system we have. We don't expect the police to freeze the scene and try to resolve the entire crime in the field - that just is not practical. DV is such that the law encourages action, and generally encourages an arrest of the primary aggressor (as determined at the scene). Yes, it usually means the man goes to jail, and, yes, it can result in some unfortunate arrests.

And at the hearing, I will tell the Judge what I know and heard that will discredit this for my son's and myself, because I have been stable for 15 years.

Hopefully you will have an attorney to present your case. Doing it yourself is not advisable.

- Carl

 

[dadx2kids]

Not against law enforcement-but equal justice important

Listen, I went to court today, it's not one of those cases. No one is free to do as they please. I gave evidence of everything that's happened before this and he appointed an investigator. I've been silent about all those incidents that she was the aggressor and abuser and violated my right's. As a man that wants custody, don't you think there's enough gender bias and when the system tends to overlook more evidence that this is what is life threatening? Not just violence, but the fact that we are vulnerable and guilty and have to prove innocence...the police we're there for me when I needed them. Now, what do I do? I tried to get a lawyer, there's no such thing as Pro Bono. If you have anything I can do or some processes I can look into, please don't be silent. My son's lives will be screwed without me, they will find out how terribly she's behaved because I reported it to the police and CPS. But now with this....I was a great dad, allowed her visits, took her in when she had no where to go temporarily. I let my life get comfortable and my guard down-now they get screwed because dad was trying to be a good person? It's not fair. And it's NOT justice.

 

[CdwJava]

Listen, I went to court today, it's not one of those cases. No one is free to do as they please.

Of course not. There are rules in court, and there are procedures. hence the reason we need to hire attorneys. Attempting to do court on your own is a recipe for disaster in most instances.

I gave evidence of everything that's happened before this and he appointed an investigator. I've been silent about all those incidents that she was the aggressor and abuser and violated my right's.

Sadly, those claims may well suffer from a lack of documentation and verification, and may now sound contrived.

As a man that wants custody, don't you think there's enough gender bias and when the system tends to overlook more evidence that this is what is life threatening?

What you claim to have as "evidence" may not, in fact, be compelling.

The standard of proof for a criminal case is proof beyond a reasonable doubt ... for a civil case, it is a preponderance of evidence. So, you might be able to make a case for yourself by inference much easier in a civil court than in a criminal one ... but, if I get this right, you are involved in a criminal matter, correct?

Now, what do I do? I tried to get a lawyer, there's no such thing as Pro Bono.

There is, but not often for civil matters.

If you cannot afford an attorney and have insufficient assets, one should be appointed for you in a criminal case. No such provision exists for civil matters.

If you have anything I can do or some processes I can look into, please don't be silent.

What state are you in? What crime are you charged with (statutes)? Are you in a criminal trial, a civil trial, or both?

- carl