Domestic Violence & Civil Orders Victim looking for advice self incriminating

[Bbnasty1087]

Jurisdiction

North Carolina

I filed charges against my bf for DV assault on female. I would like to have charges dropped. We are still together and if I tell the whole story over again in court it can be self incriminating and I would like to have a reason to not show up or not have to provide evidence. Please help me. I don't have a job and I can't afford a lawyer for help and his lawyer can't tell me what I should do nor is he helpful to him. He is a court appointed lawyer.

 

[mightymoose]

You can contact the prosecutor or the police officer who took the retort and inform them you no longer want to cooperate.
They might still continue against your wishes, but if they know you are uncooperative they might find an easy way out.
The decision to drop the charges is theirs, not yours.

 

[Bbnasty1087]

You can contact the prosecutor or the police officer who took the retort and inform them you no longer want to cooperate.
They might still continue against your wishes, but if try know you are uncooperative they might find an easy way out.
The decision to drop the charges is theirs, not yours.

Ibe already tried that ans they still want to pursue and they know im not wanting to cooperate. I was served with papers for court and I was looking for good passable reason not to show up. And also me retelling story can be self incrimintaing as well. How would I plea 5th amendment?

 

[mightymoose]

If you don't show up you could be arrested.
Don't fail to show up.
If you show up nobody can force you to speak. If you do speak, tell the truth.

Whether you retell the story or not the prosecuting attorney can get your prior statements admitted into evidence.

 

[Bbnasty1087]

If you don't show up you could be arrested.
Don't fail to show up.
If you show up nobody can force you to speak. If you do speak, tell the truth.

Whether you retell the story or not the prosecuting attorney can get your prior statements admitted into evidence.

What are admissible reasons to not show up though?

 

[Highwayman]

You didn't file charges you made a police report and a prosecutor filed charges.

You're in a bad relationship if you were assaulted. Get out of it before you end up dead.

 

[Bbnasty1087]

You didn't file charges you made a police report and a prosecutor filed charges.

You're in a bad relationship if you were assaulted. Get out of it before you end up dead.

I'm not totally innocent in the situation either. I just want this to go away.

 

[mightymoose]

What are admissible reasons to not show up though?

You had better either be dead or in a coma.

There really aren't any good reasons other than those.

 

[Highwayman]

I just want this to go away.

Too bad you can't. If you didn't want to file a police report you shouldn't have. Too late now.

Get out of your relationship before you get seriously hurt or killed.

 

[Bbnasty1087]

It's never too late. Can't I plea 5th amendment and say I don't remember incident clearly. I was really angry and memory is foggy when I filed report

 

[Bbnasty1087]

Or find a shady lawyer to give me advice?

 

[Highwayman]

If you're boyfriend committed a crime then the 5th Amendment doesn't let you avoid incriminating HIM.

 

[Bbnasty1087]

But it keeps me from confirming what I said on report and keeping from incriminating myself. I need legal advice and help not moral advice.

 

[mightymoose]

If you think you might have criminal consequences by testifying then you need to hire an attorney.

Again, you have an order to appear in court. You need to appear. You can not be forced to say a word once there... Although you may be encouraged or influenced to do so.

Prosecuting attorneys have a bag of tricks for victims and witnesses who do not want to cooperate. It seems they are prepared to reach into that bag to compel your testimony.

Fail to show up and you'll likely have a warrant for your arrest.

 

[army judge]

Or find a shady lawyer to give me advice?

All the shady lawyers I know are doing time in the BIG House, being used as sex slaves for Big Bubba, Lights Out Louie, Pine Log Paul, and Wicked Willie; while wearing ONLY a skin tight manthong, gussied up with lipstick, a long blonde wig, and eye shadow.

 

[Bbnasty1087]

All the shady lawyers I know are doing time in the BIG House, being used as sex slaves for Big Bubba, Lights Out Louie, Pine Log Paul, and Wicked Willie; while wearing ONLY a skin tight manthong, gussied up with lipstick, a long blonde wig, and eye shadow.

Didn't mean shady like that.... just meant shady like he will tell me a good reason not to show or tell me how to not speak without getting arrested or contempt of court. Because I'm avoiding myself going to jail. And if my Bf gets a charge it will ruin our Electrical business and that's how we both make money. I work within our business so we would both loose our income. I'm looking for a loop hole that I can utilize if possible bc I'm scared of what the future holds for our business if I don't find loop hole.

 

[army judge]

Didn't mean shady like that.... just meant shady like he will tell me a good reason not to show or tell me how to not speak without getting arrested or contempt of court. Because I'm avoiding myself going to jail. And if my Bf gets a charge it will ruin our Electrical business and that's how we both make money. I work within our business so we would both loose our income. I'm looking for a loop hole that I can utilize if possible bc I'm scared of what the future holds for our business if I don't find loop hole.

It might be better to consider what might happen to you when he administers your next beating.

Beating after beating might be headed your way, leading to your maiming or death.

Research the statistics about domestic violence, the batterer rarely stops battering the victim.

Some victims end up dead.

But it keeps me from confirming what I said on report and keeping from incriminating myself. I need legal advice and help not moral advice.

If you need legal advice, you HIRE yourself a lawyer.

We discuss legal issues on this site.

We don't dispense legal advice on this site, although some of us are lawyers, none of us are YOUR lawyer.

 

[Disabled Vet]

But it keeps me from confirming what I said on report and keeping from incriminating myself. I need legal advice and help not moral advice.

Well.... sometimes moral advice is just as good as the legal advice. You created this mess because you're allowing a women beater to continue down this path. Next time he could kill you. You could kill him. Then you're going to blame the system because it didn't help you. Yet your wanting the keep the system from helping you.

So here is the deal. Both of you should go right now to marriage counseling. Anger management classes, drug classes, alcohol counseling.... whatever the route that you two idiots need. The system is designed to help. If you don't want the help then DON"T use the system by calling 911. Plus, if there are children in this mess.... SHAME on both of you.

Go plea whatever your little heart desires.... Maybe they will lock you up for not telling the truth. Maybe they will lock him for what he did.

 

[ElleMD]

Here's the thing. The ball is no longer in your court. You might not even be called to testify. They might not need your testimony depending upon the facts and evidence in the case. If you are called to testify and purposely give untrue or misleading testimony, THAT is a crime. And yes, you CAN be prosecuted for it. Don't sacrifice yourself and your freedom to bail out another criminal. This might be your first brush with the justice system, but it ain't the first rodeo for the judge and attorneys. You aren't going to outwit them but suddenly claiming amnesia or changing the story. Think you are the first SO to try and pull such a stunt? You aren't. Far from it. Even the shadiest attorney isn't going to advise you to circumvent the system dishonestly. That is how they lose their license to practice law.

What is it that you would be incriminating yourself for doing? His trial and NOT your trial. The judge doesn't give a hoot what you have done and isn't going to/can't sentence a witness for something they admit to while testifying.

The reason you keep hearing over and over to leave this guy is because the posters here have seen all too many times what happens when someone doesn't. DV laws in this country are notoriously lax and prosecutions pitiful at best. If the state is willing to actually take this one to trial especially knowing you aren't cooperative, that says a lot.

 

[zddoodah]

Can't I plea 5th amendment and say I don't remember incident clearly.

No. You cannot do both. If you take the 5th, you don't answer anything else, unless a judge orders you to do so. And you sure as shit don't lie about the extent to which you remember things.

Or find a shady lawyer to give me advice?

Shady lawyers typically charge just as much as non-shady lawyers.

But it keeps me from confirming what I said on report and keeping from incriminating myself.

Suddenly you're a legal scholar? Obviously, we have no way of knowing what you already told the police, but if you've already incriminated yourself, then it may be too late. And, if you what you already told the cops isn't self-incriminating, then you can be compelled to confirm it on the stand.

At the end of the day, we're a bunch of anonymous strangers on the internet who have no vested interest in what happens to you, and you've already been told everything possible based on what you've posted. You now get to make some choices -- some of which may be very difficult.