Voluntary Relinquishment of Parental Rights

[rubekysildemone]

My ex and I have been discussing the possibility of him signing over his parental rights, but the people I've talked to, and the people he's talked to have said different things about what that entails and such. So I'm trying to figure out, if he were to sign over his rights, how reversible is that decision, what would that mean as far as child support, and what would that mean as far as forced visitation rights. Also, any idea what the process of him signing over his rights might cost? I'm trying to figure out what's best for me and my son, and he has been less than a dead beat dad.. so I am trying to make it less confusing for my son when he gets older by keeping him from being in the environment where he gets to see daddy once every couple of weeks and leave me to explain why daddy's not there the rest of the time.

 

[seniorjudge]

There is no such thing as a voluntary relinquishment of parental rights.

Now, if you were to get married and your new husband wanted to adopt the kid, then that might be another story.

 

[rubekysildemone]

Perhaps I'm using the wrong term.. I've looked online at things talking about it, and he says he spoke with a lawyer.. what we're talking about I guess would have him removed from the birth certificate, give me full custody.. from what I've looked at.. its kinda the same process as if the baby was being adopted, only I'm the person who'd be getting him..

 

[seniorjudge]

Perhaps I'm using the wrong term.. I've looked online at things talking about it, and he says he spoke with a lawyer.. what we're talking about I guess would have him removed from the birth certificate, give me full custody.. from what I've looked at.. its kinda the same process as if the baby was being adopted, only I'm the person who'd be getting him..

Again...that won't happen. No such thing.

 

[Duranie]

Why would you or him be talking about this? terminating parental rights means he will have no rights to the child, no support or visitation, and the child will be left without a legal father. With that said, this probably cannot be done without a subsequent adoption. It is not in the childs best interest to leave him legally fatherless and most courts will not entertain this idea unless you are remarried.

Having a father that is involved some of the time is better than none. As a non custodial parent he does not have to see the child he only has to pay support but he is entitled to see the child on set visitation.

All you can do is co-parent the best you can and encourage a relationship.

 

[rubekysildemone]

I would be talking about this for several reasons... Personally I think it is healthier for a child to know a loving, caring, and close family without a father rather than have their father drop in on a whim from time to time, confusing them, and leaving them to question if it's their fault that daddy doesn't care enough to be around. My ex is walking proof that it takes more than sperm to make a father.. he lived with us up until about three weeks ago and on average spent possibly an hour a week with his son.. While Living in the same House!.. Elijah got to the point where he would stare at the back of daddy's computer and coo trying to get him to just look at him. It was severly depressing with me. He never wanted to be a father in the first place and he has proven that he will take that all the way.. in the three weeks that we've lived apart he hasn't taken my offer to spend time with his son even once.. and the one time he showed up on a whim he did it at 11pm when the baby was asleep. Furthermore, he has the notion that he should be allowed to take the baby across the nation to visit his extended family... the baby would be miserable for one because he doesn't even know his father, and he's completely breast fed.. and for two, I would have no way of knowing exactly where they are, or getting into contact with them.. and honestly.. with that kind of freedom and the horrible track record his family has had with me and decisions about the baby.. I wouldn't be surprised if he never came back and I lost my son forever. There are plenty of reasons why we would consider this.. not all men deserve to be fathers.. the same can be said of women.

 

[seniorjudge]

...
There are plenty of reasons why we would consider this.. not all men deserve to be fathers.. the same can be said of women.
...

Probably all women.:angel

 

[rubekysildemone]

Perhaps you'd be surprised.. Some of us work really hard to provide everything we can for our children. Redundant as it may be.. I'm a full time Psychology student at UCF, one year from finishing my degree, a full time equine therapist for developmentally disabled children, and a full time mom/sister/daughter/friend... hell I even do volunteer work. I may have not meant to get pregnant (remember there's that .1%) but I'll be damned if I dont do everything in my power for the rest of my life to make his life better.

 

[seniorjudge]

Perhaps you'd be surprised.. Some of us work really hard to provide everything we can for our children. Redundant as it may be.. I'm a full time Psychology student at UCF, one year from finishing my degree, a full time equine therapist for developmentally disabled children, and a full time mom/sister/daughter/friend... hell I even do volunteer work. I may have not meant to get pregnant (remember there's that .1%) but I'll be damned if I dont do everything in my power for the rest of my life to make his life better.

Read the following sentence that you wrote and see if you can find anything...well, ODD in it:

There are plenty of reasons why we would consider this.. not all men deserve to be fathers.. the same can be said of women.

 

[Scooterdog]

I would be talking about this for several reasons... Personally I think it is healthier for a child to know a loving, caring, and close family without a father rather than have their father drop in on a whim from time to time, confusing them, and leaving them to question if it's their fault that daddy doesn't care enough to be around. My ex is walking proof that it takes more than sperm to make a father.. he lived with us up until about three weeks ago and on average spent possibly an hour a week with his son.. While Living in the same House!.. Elijah got to the point where he would stare at the back of daddy's computer and coo trying to get him to just look at him. It was severly depressing with me. He never wanted to be a father in the first place and he has proven that he will take that all the way.. in the three weeks that we've lived apart he hasn't taken my offer to spend time with his son even once.. and the one time he showed up on a whim he did it at 11pm when the baby was asleep. Furthermore, he has the notion that he should be allowed to take the baby across the nation to visit his extended family... the baby would be miserable for one because he doesn't even know his father, and he's completely breast fed.. and for two, I would have no way of knowing exactly where they are, or getting into contact with them.. and honestly.. with that kind of freedom and the horrible track record his family has had with me and decisions about the baby.. I wouldn't be surprised if he never came back and I lost my son forever. There are plenty of reasons why we would consider this.. not all men deserve to be fathers.. the same can be said of women.

Responding in red: That's why personal opinions don't mean squat. IT is FACT, proven time and time again, that children raised by father 1-have better school attendance, 2-have higher GPA. With the few exeptions of poor fathering.

"One father is more than a hundred schoolmasters". George Herbert

"Children reared with meticulous care by over-protective parents often turn out as well as those permitted to grow up naturally". Anonymous

 

[rubekysildemone]

<<<< Psych Student.. I know the benefits of having a father... and i promise.. this one is part of that exceptions pool. I've weighed all these things considerably before thinking of this as a possibility.. I do only what I believe to be in the best interest of my child.

 

[Scooterdog]

<<<< Psych Student.. I know the benefits of having a father... and i promise.. this one is part of that exceptions pool. I've weighed all these things considerably before thinking of this as a possibility.. I do only what I believe to be in the best interest of my child.

Has he taken parenting class's? Has the state intervened in anyway to help him to become a better parent? There are few exceptions that a parent cannot improve.

The red is where the problem is. "I" and "MY". :no:

 

[Duranie]

Regardless of what you feel is best, you cannot terminate his rights in almost all jurisdictions without a subsequent adoption. So since you likely cannot do it, time to move on to another subject. Leaving the child without a legal father, and NO financial support from the father, is not in the child's best interest.

You made him the father and he does have rights, whether or not he uses them is up to him.

It seems to me this is an infant we are dealing with, therefore the child is WAY too young for you to decide he doesn't need Dad. All dad has to do is to go to court and he likely will be granted some visitation, you can certainly argue and ask for supervised, and ask that he pay support. If Dad had any smarts he would be going to an attorney since it seems obvious you are going to make it very difficult for him to be involved.

You are putting the cart way before the horse here. The baby is still young and you are not doing your child any justice by already trying to push the father out of his life.