Recent content by adjusterjack

About the same number of times during basic that my DIs got my name wrong.

Today, at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her over. A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef! Have you heard about the restaurant on the moon...

I wouldn't count on it. However, the report (if taken) will be available at some point. Stop kvetching about "what ifs." First, get an estimate for the damage repair. Compare it to your deductible. Then decide if it's more than you can handle. Then request the police report. Apparently, you...

Making any resolutions?

She's baaack.

I've seen those deals. The $59 doesn't cover much: exam, maybe Xrays, cleaning. But if any work needs to be done, it will be at some outrageous price rather than the price they would charge for insurance. Read the fine print of that $59 offer.

A blonde walks into the police department looking for a job. The officer interviewing her asks her a few questions. What's 2+2? She replied, "4" What's the square root of 100? She answered, "10" Good, now who killed Abraham Lincoln? Puzzled she responds, "hmmm, I don't know" Officer tells her to...

More oldies: Why was the inkblot crying? His father was in the pen and he didn't know how long the sentence would be. What did one wall say to the other wall? I'll meet you at the corner. What do you get when you breed an elephant with a rhinoceros? Elefino. A dog with a bandage on his foot...

Why does a mushroom get invited to a lot of parties? Because he's a fun guy.

It won't. The human race is hard-wired for hostility, violence, greed, and uncontrolled breeding. We are a plague on this planet.

Funny how people jump to conclusions and get upset over it. This is very funny.