Advice needed - Bio-dad trying to turn son against step-dad & called CPS

[bayangel214]

Thank you for your responses to this thread.

 

[bluemann33]

My ex surprised even me by calling CPS on my husband about him spanking my son. Yes, he spanked him one time and will not do it again, but neither of us have ever had any history with CPS. My ex didn't even call to ask me about it. My kids were all interviewed at school and CPS will have to come to my home as well.

I am shocked and very saddened and I think that my ex did this to hurt me and my husband. I believe he's been angry since I left him because of his verbal and physical abuse over 5 years ago. He has been telling my son not to listen to my husband and is trying to undermine the home we have created. Between my husband and myself we have 4 daughters and 1 son. My son is only 6 and is easily impressionable (like I assume many little boys are).


It can be tough for the biodad to see another man raising his son, that said it gives him no right to put you or your husband down to him. CPS will do their investigation and if all is as said will find nothing. Your husband should not have to nor should either of you allow your son to do whatever he wants in your home. good for you for keeping the descipline in your home. Talk to your ex and tell him you will not tolerate filling your sons head with trash and you will speak with your attorney if he continues. You may want to find other ways to descipline your son, Im not saying a child does'nt need a good old fashion whoopin now and then when needed, but nowdays you can't do that. It seems your ex has a problem with that. Put the shoe on the other foot and think of how you would feel if his new wife were spanking your son. Good luck.

 

[BayState]

My ex surprised even me by calling CPS on my husband about him spanking my son. Yes, he spanked him one time and will not do it again, but neither of us have ever had any history with CPS. My ex didn't even call to ask me about it. My kids were all interviewed at school and CPS will have to come to my home as well.

I am shocked and very saddened and I think that my ex did this to hurt me and my husband. I believe he's been angry since I left him because of his verbal and physical abuse over 5 years ago. He has been telling my son not to listen to my husband and is trying to undermine the home we have created. Between my husband and myself we have 4 daughters and 1 son. My son is only 6 and is easily impressionable (like I assume many little boys are).

My husband is very sad and is afraid of being walked on. He doesn't want to have to walk on eggshells in his own home. We recently moved to a new city and after much work were able to transfer the children to the school district by our new house that is heads and shoulders above where they were before.

CPS told me not to be stressed about it and if nothing gets reported again that we have nothing to worry about. Neither of us have ever had any experience with CPS.

Is there anything I can do to stop my ex from manipulating my son?
Is there anything I can do...or just move on and always be aware that someone (my kids dad) will always be out to get me...

Thanks.

Please define "spanking".

 

[army judge]

You can't prevent others from doing anything, good or bad.

You can make sure that you and your husband make the proper choices.

My advice would be, "just do you"!

In other words, make sure you are always doing the right thing. Then, whatever another person might say becomes irrelevant.


Just move on, and good luck.

 

[bayangel214]

Thank you for your response to this post

 

[BayState]

Hitting his butt lightly with a belt as a punishment. Yes, the belt was the problem. It won't happen again. If it was the hand I don't think it would have been looked in to at all.

Ex has looked and looked for years to hold anything against me and unfortunately I gave finally him something.

My parents said to just move on too.

Why do you think that the FATHER is "wrong" for calling CPS when a LEGAL stranger assaults HIS child with a belt??? If the "shoe were on the other foot" would you not have an issue if Dad's wife/girlfriend were to ASSAULT your child?

 

[bayangel214]

Thank you.

 

[lonelyinny]

your husband was in the wrong

My ex surprised even me by calling CPS on my husband about him spanking my son. Yes, he spanked him one time and will not do it again, but neither of us have ever had any history with CPS. My ex didn't even call to ask me about it. My kids were all interviewed at school and CPS will have to come to my home as well.

I am shocked and very saddened and I think that my ex did this to hurt me and my husband. I believe he's been angry since I left him because of his verbal and physical abuse over 5 years ago. He has been telling my son not to listen to my husband and is trying to undermine the home we have created. Between my husband and myself we have 4 daughters and 1 son. My son is only 6 and is easily impressionable (like I assume many little boys are).

My husband is very sad and is afraid of being walked on. He doesn't want to have to walk on eggshells in his own home. We recently moved to a new city and after much work were able to transfer the children to the school district by our new house that is heads and shoulders above where they were before.

CPS told me not to be stressed about it and if nothing gets reported again that we have nothing to worry about. Neither of us have ever had any experience with CPS.

Is there anything I can do to stop my ex from manipulating my son?
Is there anything I can do...or just move on and always be aware that someone (my kids dad) will always be out to get me...

Thanks.

and btw, he is not bio dad, he is dad. the only dad your son has. and dont be surprised if dad takes you to court for this. its your job as a parent( not your husband who is not his parent) to administer the discipline. your husband was WAY out of line spanking someone else's child.judges have been known to strip a parent of custody for this.

 

[bayangel214]

Thank you for your response

 

[lonelyinny]

it doesnt matter if there is no history of abuse. your husband is not your sons parent, and needs to keep his hands to himself. you might get let off with a warning this time, next time you may be stripped of custody.and both of you may face criminal charges as well. him for assault and battery to a child and you for failing to protect your child.

 

[bayangel214]

Thank you for your response and advice.

 

[BayState]

Assault seems harsh but I never said it was right. I just thought he could have said something to me about it first. Guess it's all in context anyway.

You're right. My ex was violent with me for years til I left him. This shouldn't surprise me.

Thx

I find it..concerning...that you have a Hx of DV and yet do not find a NON-PARENT "spanking" your child to be a non-issue. It is MUCH MORE concerning that you don't seem to think a NON-PARENT ASSAULTING your child with a belt to be an actual ASSAULT. If the NON-PARENT to hit your child were NOT your current hubby, I would bet my bottom dollar you would be foaming at the mouth haranguing the DA to press abuse charges.