Birthcertificate Immigration Child

[army judge]

I still communicate with my ex and our children are 29 and 16 (almost fully maturated )...He doesn't have a very good relationship with the girls so I just fill him in on what's new.

As I said, I've heard similar stories from hundreds of people during my lifetime.
You need not justify to me why you do anything, because no matter what I've been told, it makes no sense to me.

Some people aren't cut out for marriage or parenthood.

I'll be married 52 years this August.

I'm too old to care about most things these days, and far too set in my ways to worry about what others think.

My only exception is for my wife and my grandkids.

I love my children, but I take immense delight in my grandkids.

 

[army judge]

Interestingly enough, the OP feels that she already asked that very question. Amazing.

I suspect the confusion is one of native tongue.
OP is posting from lovely Essen in the beautiful state of North Rhine-Westphalia.
The OP is a native speaker of German, and most of us are native English speakers from one of 50 US states,(maybe one of our territories) and we often have trouble understanding each other.

A little perseverance overcame some trepidation, and the OP got her message out.

 

[Zigner]

I suspect the confusion is one of native tongue.
OP is posting from lovely Essen in the beautiful state of North Rhine-Westphalia.
The OP is a native speaker of German, and most of us are native English speakers from one of 50 US states,(maybe one of our territories) and we often have trouble understanding each other.

A little perseverance overcame some trepidation, and the OP got her message out.

The German language uses questions marks.
The OP writes clear English.
The OP lived in the US for several years.

 

[army judge]

The German language uses questions marks.
The OP writes clear English.
The OP lived in the US for several years.

We disagree.

English, as we in the USA know it, has subtleties, euphemisms, slang, and regional differences.

In fact, our regional accents can often be confusing to native English speakers, much less foreigners.

I fully embrace my inner curmudgeon.

 

[Zigner]

We disagree.

English, as we in the USA know it, has subtleties, euphemisms, slang, and regional differences.

In fact, our regional accents can often be confusing to native English speakers, much less foreigners.

I fully embrace my inner curmudgeon.

While I agree in general, if you look at the OP, it is clear that there are several statements and no question(s). It has nothing to do with subtleties, euphemisms, slang, or regional differences.

 

[justblue]

We disagree.

English, as we in the USA know it, has subtleties, euphemisms, slang, and regional differences.

In fact, our regional accents can often be confusing to native English speakers, much less foreigners.

I fully embrace my inner curmudgeon.

I'm from Boston...Now I'm in Henderson...The biggest regional difference I've encountered is a 9mm dropping out of the apt upstairs window. That really happened. In 52 years of living in Mass I never saw a gun drop out of a window.

BTW Army Judge...Congrats on your wonderful long marriage! If I had stayed with my ex one more week I would be posting a question in Criminal Law.

 

[zddoodah]

not sure why you people answer when youre not answering questions.

As my prior response notes, you didn't ask a question. All you did was tell a story.

 

[zddoodah]

Yes not sure where you went to school but i did ask a question

None of the following sentences are questions:

"About 5 years ago i got divorced from my american husband. We have a child and me and my kid are currently living in my home country in europe. He remarried with a woman from another country again and goes through the immigration process. He messaged me saying they have an immigration interview this week and he needs my childs birthcertificate. I dont know very much about the american immigration laws but since google didnt give me any kind of results it made me think about if he really needs it for his wifes immigration or if he tries to use my kindness to stab me in the back once again. Just dont see any reason why she or he would need it. Weird."

what does my kid have to do with someone elses immigration?

Nothing that I can think of, but your ex-husband apparently thinks otherwise.

 

[cynthiag]

I've never understood the apparent obsession some people have to communicate with a former spouse.

I understand such communication, insofar, as a minor child is concerned.

I have never been divorced, so I'm probably ignorant of the "why".

I'm also baffled about many things, this is just one of many things I'll never understand.

I have been divorced, but I don't understand the obsession either. By the time my ex-husband died in 2016 we'd been divorced for 40 years, and he was still coming up with reasons/excuses to contact me on a fairly regular basis. If not about our son, then about the grandkids.

Asking for a birth certificate like the OP is talking about would have been a very typical thing for him to do when our son was younger, even though he could easily have gotten one from the state Vital Statistics office himself. He continued to insist upon communicating with me for many years beyond our son's childhood and well into his adulthood, even though I always hoped he would stop being quite so communicative, at least by the time our son reached middle age!

I was always cordial to him when I saw him or he contacted me, but I found out after he died that he went around telling people that I wouldn't speak to him and that we hadn't talked in years.

I'm usually pretty good at figuring people out but I never quite figured out his behavior.

 

[army judge]

BTW Army Judge...Congrats on your wonderful long marriage! If I had stayed with my ex one more week I would be posting a question in Criminal Law.

Thank you.

I have been divorced, but I don't understand the obsession either. By the time my ex-husband died in 2016 we'd been divorced for 40 years, and he was still coming up with reasons/excuses to contact me on a fairly regular basis. If not about our son, then about the grandkids.

I have only been involved with two divorce cases in my life, along with two other domestic relations cases regarding child custody.

One person was a friend of my wife, the other three were relatives.

I understand contact between former spouses for the benefit of their minor children, but one of the cases cited above became so toxic, those parties communicated through a trusted third party to keep things civil.

There are many things I'll never understand even if I lived to be 969 years old, as did Methuselah, I'm sure I'd remain as confounded as I am today.

 

[justblue]

Thank you.



I have only been involved with two divorce cases in my life, along with two other domestic relations cases regarding child custody.

One person was a friend of my wife, the other three were relatives.

I understand contact between former spouses for the benefit of their minor children, but one of the cases cited above became so toxic, those parties communicated through a trusted third party to keep things civil.

There are many things I'll never understand even if I lived to be 969 years old, as did Methuselah, I'm sure I'd remain as confounded as I am today.

When it's toxic no contact is the way to go...I'm glad my ex and I can at least talk about our kids in a civil manner. The girls are really extraordinary and it's great that we can bloviate together about how wonderful they are and not be obnoxious with others about it.

 

[cynthiag]

I was lucky in that my relationship with my ex never devolved into something truly toxic...just uncomfortable and weird and perplexing sometimes, given the fact that we were together only about three years and divorced for 40 years!

 

[army judge]

I was lucky in that my relationship with my ex never devolved into something truly toxic...just uncomfortable and weird and perplexing sometimes, given the fact that we were together only about three years and divorced for 40 years!

He probably didn't want to divorce you, but didn't want to cease the behavior that drove you to seek the divorce.

 

[cynthiag]

He probably didn't want to divorce you, but didn't want to cease the behavior that drove you to seek the divorce.

Funny thing about that...I wasn't the one who sought the divorce, I just agreed to it when he filed after leaving me for another woman!

 

[justblue]

Funny thing about that...I wasn't the one who sought the divorce, I just agreed to it when he filed after leaving me for another woman!

He has a case of buyers remorse. My BIL suffers from it as well.

 

[army judge]

Funny thing about that...I wasn't the one who sought the divorce, I just agreed to it when he filed after leaving me for another woman!

I would sure as heck help him get the divorce in that situation, lousy cheater.