can't sleep

[junkanoogal]

Being an older parent of a toddler, I am extremely concerned about her care should I die. Her biological father does not support her and has very little contact with her..he hasn't seen her in 7 mos (not even on her birthday). He calls occasionally, and I believe he supports himself illegally. And is not an ideal role model.
I know in NY I have sole custody since she lives with me, but I am concerned if I die (I don't plan on it anytime soon...) she'll be take from the only family & life she knows. Are there any actions I can or should take to prevent this from happening?

 

[mightymoose]

Get a will and make sure your family knows about it.
If the father should assert parental rights then that will have to be addressed in court when the time comes, but at least your wishes will be known.

 

[Duranie]

Children cannot be willed. You can state your preference but Dad will have a right to petition for custody. Was paternity even established with him?

 

[BayState]

Being an older parent of a toddler, I am extremely concerned about her care should I die. Her biological father does not support her and has very little contact with her..he hasn't seen her in 7 mos (not even on her birthday). He calls occasionally, and I believe he supports himself illegally. And is not an ideal role model.
I know in NY I have sole custody since she lives with me, but I am concerned if I die (I don't plan on it anytime soon...) she'll be take from the only family & life she knows. Are there any actions I can or should take to prevent this from happening?

I am curious, as will the Judge, why you choose this person to father your child? As an "older" parent you should have known, per legal standards, that this man was unfit and not had sex with him. So why did you???

 

[junkanoogal]

Yes, he acknowledged paternity at birth

 

[junkanoogal]

There is no good answer to this question. "Hindsight is 20/20", "Love is really blind" and "when you least expect something, expect it". With that said, I have always wanted a child, and had been trying for years. Also, I did not think I could get pregnant(medical reasons)...And I love my child immensely!!!!!

 

[jharris352]

We have all done things that we regret even when they have results (like a child) that we don't. Get some sleep, if you don't you may die sooner!!!

I have a fairly unique idea for you. But a pretty hefty life insurance policy. While your child can not be "willed" you can make your interests known in your will and you can appoint them as "trustee" over the life insurance funds. Find someone that you want to take your child, and let them know about the life insurance with your child as the beneficiary. On the occasion of your death your child will have a good deal of money, the trustee will be able to use the funds for your child's benefit. This would include possibly fighting the birth father for custody. At very least the money could be used to make sure the child is taken care of.