Dude, the joke wasn't ever funny, and it's now boring.
If you did ANY of this nonsense, and you aren't in jail,you'll likely never be arrested. So, forget it, give it and US, a rest. People have REAL problems, and your silliness is getting n the way of others getting help. If you did this and got away with it, you wouldn't be carrying on like this. If it really did happen and you're still free, I'd give you better than a 90% chance that nothing more will come of it. If you are arrested, be polite, stay calm, do as the police instruct, cooperate with the police, but don't discuss the charges, except to say "I wish to avail myself of my right to remain silent, and I wish to speak with a lawyer." The police will ask no more questions, and eventually the judge will appoint a lawyer to help you. From that point in do as the lawyer instructs. Bottom line, you aren't Jesse James or Osama bin Laden, so relax and this will eventually end.
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