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Child Custody - Child now Adult
- Thread Starter jerry121
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You are a person who has been MISSING for 12 years. If your mother has you listed as missing, and followed through with it, you would most likely be detained if for nothing else to make sure that you are alright and be able to close the report.
Then I would be very careful if I was you. That government is going to want to know where your father is so that he can face the charges for kidnapping you.
Proserpina
Moderator
Rushia and Proserpina, you should refrain from using the words kidnap and criminal because kidnap means "take away to an undisclosed location against their will and usually in order to extract a ransom".
Neither was I taken against my will, nor was I being held inorder to extract a ransom.
You should comment taking the context into question.
That's what the law doesn't do, they fail to look at the context, they fail to understand the child and his wishes.
Not every case of a parent fleeing with a child is against the child's will. The CHILD can have and I repeat the CHILD can have a say in this decision.
There are situations where the even though the child's age may not support him in a court of law, but the experiences that the child has gone through, has made him mature enough to take decisions, even at the age of 7-8.
We all are different, and the experiences that we go through may make us mature before the age of let's say 19-20.
It's just that the law has to take into consideration the person who's life is at stake, in any divorce, the child's life is at stake much more than the husband and wife. The husband and wife separate, but it's the child that has to go through the process of visitations and other formalities. I'm not saying that every child does have the know how and maturity to make such a crucial decision at the age he/she is, but there are exceptions. I don't want to praise myself, but I'm such an exception. When everything happens infront of your very own eyes, you know what you are doing regardless of your age, sex, height and so on, you know which parent serves your interest and future the best, better than any court of law. The court of law fails to understand that unfortunately. That's why sometimes either parent may play around with the child's life in the name of custody either to extract child custody support or take revenge from their ex-. All in all, it's the child's life at stake and he/she must be allowed to make his/her own decisions.
Neither was I taken against my will, nor was I being held inorder to extract a ransom.
You should comment taking the context into question.
That's what the law doesn't do, they fail to look at the context, they fail to understand the child and his wishes.
Not every case of a parent fleeing with a child is against the child's will. The CHILD can have and I repeat the CHILD can have a say in this decision.
There are situations where the even though the child's age may not support him in a court of law, but the experiences that the child has gone through, has made him mature enough to take decisions, even at the age of 7-8.
We all are different, and the experiences that we go through may make us mature before the age of let's say 19-20.
It's just that the law has to take into consideration the person who's life is at stake, in any divorce, the child's life is at stake much more than the husband and wife. The husband and wife separate, but it's the child that has to go through the process of visitations and other formalities. I'm not saying that every child does have the know how and maturity to make such a crucial decision at the age he/she is, but there are exceptions. I don't want to praise myself, but I'm such an exception. When everything happens infront of your very own eyes, you know what you are doing regardless of your age, sex, height and so on, you know which parent serves your interest and future the best, better than any court of law. The court of law fails to understand that unfortunately. That's why sometimes either parent may play around with the child's life in the name of custody either to extract child custody support or take revenge from their ex-. All in all, it's the child's life at stake and he/she must be allowed to make his/her own decisions.
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And this shows that you truly do not understand the severity of what your father did. At 7 years old, you did not either. As a CHILD you could NOT make that decision. Furthermore, your father had other avenues that he could have pursued LEGALLY had you truly been abused.
As I clearly said, that age does not define whether you can make decisions or not. As they say till you haven't been in the situation yourself, you shouldn't comment and if you do comment on it, please take the facts into consideration.
The legal avenues.... do you know that in the US, the law favours the mother? A mother goes and cries crocodile tears and the custody is hers.. this is the reality as much as we run away from it.. this is the reality of the American judicial system.
The mental trauma that a husband and a child goes through, no court of law can understand that.
For two seconds, keep yourself in my shoes and then comment...
For me, i needed a fresh air from this environment, so I forced my father to leave the US, the problem is a child's viewpoint is not considered, that's where the judicial system shows its real weakness.
The legal avenues.... do you know that in the US, the law favours the mother? A mother goes and cries crocodile tears and the custody is hers.. this is the reality as much as we run away from it.. this is the reality of the American judicial system.
The mental trauma that a husband and a child goes through, no court of law can understand that.
For two seconds, keep yourself in my shoes and then comment...
For me, i needed a fresh air from this environment, so I forced my father to leave the US, the problem is a child's viewpoint is not considered, that's where the judicial system shows its real weakness.
That is where you are 100% incorrect. US law does NOT favor the mother. US law is the best interest of the child. I cannot put myself in your shoes. I do not believe for one second that you remember things correctly from when you were 7.
army judge
Super Moderator
Jerry, the US judicial neither favors men or women.
I've seen men get custody, while a woman was sobbing uncontrollably.
I've also seen a woman get custody while a man sobbed uncontrollably.
Don't paint everything the same color.
I'm happy you had a great life.
I'm happy dad and you survived and thrived.
It appears your dad did a great job.
But, take your own advice, son.
You have never been married.
You have never fought a custody battle.
You were the one they were fighting over, son.
Just thank God that things worked out for you.
Don't slam, what I know to be, the best damn legal system on the planet.
It sometimes gets it wrong.
Despite many other issues in the USA, our legal system is one of the best.
I am also one of the greatest critics of my country.
But, I wore her uniform for 30 years.
I fought her battles and defended her freedom.
I earned the right to criticize this great nation.
We can thank our legal system for ensuring that women and Blacks got the right to vote, that Blacks were freed from slavery, that homosexuals have obtained some measure of acceptance in our society, that many other injustices have been eliminated!
In fact, it is our legal system that kept some jackbooted thugs from seeking you out and dragging you back to the USA, kicking and screaming.
It will be that same legal system that keeps those same jackbooted thugs from beating information out of you, relative to where your dad is living.
So, Jerry, the pendulum swings both ways.
I wish you well.
You seem like a fine young man in many ways.
Good luck in what you decide to do with your life.
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As I clearly said, that age does not define whether you can make decisions or not. As they say till you haven't been in the situation yourself, you shouldn't comment and if you do comment on it, please take the facts into consideration.
The legal avenues.... do you know that in the US, the law favours the mother? A mother goes and cries crocodile tears and the custody is hers.. this is the reality as much as we run away from it.. this is the reality of the American judicial system.
The mental trauma that a husband and a child goes through, no court of law can understand that.
For two seconds, keep yourself in my shoes and then comment...
For me, i needed a fresh air from this environment, so I forced my father to leave the US, the problem is a child's viewpoint is not considered, that's where the judicial system shows its real weakness.
The legal avenues.... do you know that in the US, the law favours the mother? A mother goes and cries crocodile tears and the custody is hers.. this is the reality as much as we run away from it.. this is the reality of the American judicial system.
The mental trauma that a husband and a child goes through, no court of law can understand that.
For two seconds, keep yourself in my shoes and then comment...
For me, i needed a fresh air from this environment, so I forced my father to leave the US, the problem is a child's viewpoint is not considered, that's where the judicial system shows its real weakness.
Proserpina
Moderator
You were 7 years old and legally could not give your consent. The only person who could have given consent was your legal guardian - in other words, your Mother.
You were taken from your legal parent, out of the jurisdiction of the US, without permission. YOUR permission wasn't needed. I'm sorry you're not grasping that.
On the contrary - the law wants to protect children from themselves. That's why we don't allow children to make such life-changing decisions.
What the young child wants doesn't matter - legally. Certainly not at 7 years old. An older teen would likely have his wishes heard in court. But that's what you're not seeming to understand - your father should have gone through the LEGAL system in this country. He chose not to do that. Hence he broke the law.
There isn't a court in the country going to let a 7 year old decide where he wants to live. I'm sorry, but that's just the way it is. Heck, what if you decided not to go to school any more? Do you think you should have been able to make that decision too?
Incorrect and illogical.
Your argument is flawed and wrong. So why are you repeating yourself?
Proserpina
Moderator
You don't know what anyone here may or may not have gone through during their childhood.
Your father was frankly foolish to allow a 7 year old child to "force" him to do anything. HE is the parent. YOU were the child. Not the other way around.
Regardless, this is all moot. Your father did break the law, according to the United States.
Hey Pro.....his insistence that it was HIS idea makes me think something is rotten in Denmark.
Proserpina
Moderator
Quite honestly it sounds like the child was fed that line over many, many years until it became the "truth".
That's what I was thinking as well. Glad it's not just me.
Proserpina
Moderator
Nope, we're on the same page 
This is actually - and quite tragically - very typical of parental kidnapping cases.
(I think we might get yelled at for using the "k" word again but that is actually what happened, so I'm good with it)
This is actually - and quite tragically - very typical of parental kidnapping cases.
(I think we might get yelled at for using the "k" word again but that is actually what happened, so I'm good with it)
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