Childs right to refuse visitation

[chillywilly]

At what age can a child say that they do not want to go with the non custodial parent on a visitation weekend?

Breif background:
My son's father and I lived together off and on for 3.5 years (more off then on). We have now been seperated for 7.5 years. My son will be 11 in 2 weeks. I have always had sole physical (no visitation set by the court) and sole legal custody of my son up until 5 months ago. Now we have set visitation and joint legal custody.

Situation:
My son doesn't want to go with his father on most week-ends and on Tues. nights. This has been the same since my son was little. I would have to make him go. I have always insisted that his father be a part of his life and that he needs to spend time with him. We basically had the same visitation schedule without the court order only more liberal. Basically, dad could see him just about any time he wanted. Making arrangements were better when there was not an order. Now that there is his father is not willing to switch week ends or do earlier/later pick-ups unless he is the one requesting it. My son doesn't want to go with his father and it's getting harder to explain why he has to. He is starting to have issues with me because I wont (his words) do anything about it. He has stated many times that he wants to tell his dad that he doesn't want to go, but I told him that it wouldn't do any good because he would still have to. That it would only make things worse for him.

 

[Duranie]

The child cannot make the decision not to go and you can be held in contempt. You should be encouraging a relationship with Dad, not going against it. The child does not get to choose if he wants to visit and Dad is entitled to see the child.

 

[chillywilly]

Obviously, you only skimmed what I said. Quote "I have alway insisted that his father be a part of his life and that he needs to spend time with him" end quote. Under situation 4th sentence. Also that I set up visitation on a regular basis without a court order for nearly 10.5 years. Didn't want to put that father is very hard on the child, has hurt the child and that the child doesn't like his father!! Tried to keep it simple.

I know that the child does have the right to not go but just not what age. I guess what I am asking is is it at age 12 or age 14?

I do not consider it legal advise, just a parent on the other end.

 

[seniorjudge]

Obviously, you only skimmed what I said. Quote "I have alway insisted that his father be a part of his life and that he needs to spend time with him" end quote. Under situation 4th sentence. Also that I set up visitation on a regular basis without a court order for nearly 10.5 years. Didn't want to put that father is very hard on the child, has hurt the child and that the child doesn't like his father!! Tried to keep it simple.

I know that the child does have the right to not go but just not what age. I guess what I am asking is is it at age 12 or age 14?

I do not consider it legal advise, just a parent on the other end.

The child cannot make the decision not to go and you can be held in contempt. The child does not get to choose if he wants to visit and Dad is entitled to see the child.

 

[chillywilly]

Thanks for the input on the age thing.

Okay, so what do I do if there is an important family event with my family and my son know's about it (his grandfather is leaving to go over seas for a year and he's retiring from the airforce the weekend before he leaves) and wants to go but his father is not will even address exchanging weekends and has been asked in writting twice, 2 1/2 months prior to the event. The child has told his father that he would like to go, but his dad tells him that my family will just have to reschedule grandpa's retirement party to a different weekend.

 

[Duranie]

There is no minimum age where the child can decide. It's basically 18.