I was wondering if it is legal for my wife to deny me the right to see my son? We are still married & have not takin any legal actions like seperation, divorce, or custody battle. I'm stationed in Virginia for the military & she's living with her aunt, uncle, & new boyfriend. With us still being completely legaly married & my name on the birth certificete I should have all legal rights to see my son. She is telling me I cant see him until the courts order it & that'll take to long. I will be deploying soon & would like to at least get him for the weekend or the time I'm on leave. What legal actions can I take aside from taking it to court to get her to let me see my son?
Denied the right to see my son
- Thread Starter Trace
- Start date
- Status
army judge
Super Moderator
Your only way to see your son at anytime is to use the legal process.
Tomorrow, go to JAG.
Tell JAG your story.
They can get the ball rolling for you.
Tell JAG that you want to change your will and SGLI beneficiary, while you're there.
Also, you might want to change your notification and next of kin.
You also want to make sure that your son is properly cared for in your absence.
JAG can help you with that.
That is if, you haven't done that already!
You should also contact the Chaplain.
Tell the Chaplain your story.
He will assist you in getting to see your son.
Then, speak with your 1SG (or use your chain of command to see your 1SG) and tell him your story.
He will get you help.
This won't be easy from the picture you paint.
But, please, do this the right way.
Do this the legal way.
I am a retired JAG Colonel.
I retired after 30 years.
So, I know of what I speak.
These folks will help you, once you tell the story.
There is a lot of mess in that story.
So, what you want to convey is the fact that you are deploying soon!
You want to see your son, spend time with him, and just love him.
You are about to make a great sacrifice for our nation.
Those folks know that.
They will help you, if you do this right!:yes:
God bless you, and thanks again for your service and sacrifice.:yes:
Last edited:
Proserpina
Moderator
With all due respect, AJ, since when has JAG gotten involved with civil disputes?! Specially custody affairs? Sure, they can help enforcing civil court orders...but outside of that, all they can do is offer OP civil resources and advice how to go about obtaining legal advice through the civilian world.
Proserpina
Moderator
(and these days, changing next of kin is NOT easy when you're STILL married)
I've been to JAG they informed me that everything my NCO's & evryone else around me was true, that with us still being married that I can get my son & keep him with me & it's not illegal. I informed them of the danger he's in living there. His mom is a druggy same with her boyfriend who also is a dealer, skitso, possible pedifile, her aunts a pedifile. The trailer they live in has multiple firearms not locked up that I have been threatened with on my visit to see my son for the first time. She has close to no income, no vehicle to be able to take my son to get proper medical care if something happens, & I'm unable to get in contact with my wife so I could wire her money to support my son or to make sure he's ok. JAG told me I need to go there & take him but if I have to get the courts involved now it'll be a little harder keeping him once they realize that my wife has my son in her custody at the time of a custody battle. I already have her off my SGLI/SGLV, & I belive I already have my next of kin changed. The only thing she's still on is my insurence & that's because she's still in DEERS & cant be removed without a divorce dicree. Anyway I was told by multiple people that with us still being legally married & me being the father that I can get the cops involve & they'll make her let me see him. Is that true?
army judge
Super Moderator
The cops might help you.
They will listen.
They would see that the situation gets investigated for all those issues you reported.
They might say its a civil matter.
Then you need a civilian lawyer to file for divorce and seek custody.
You might also want a DNA test done.
He might not be your son.
Whatever you do, i wouldn't go there without the police.
I wouldn't go there with friends.
I'd only go there with the police.
You could notify child protective services in that state.
In fact, if what you say is true, you should do it for your child.
They can check and take the child out of that environment.
It is worth it to speak to them.
army judge
Super Moderator
You can try the police.
Tell the facts, and don't be bitter.
This is about your son, not you and your wife.
Make sure they know you want the best for your child.
Talk to the Chaplain.
You can not give up or quit.
You are doing this for your child.
Keep trying.
Try CPS again, and tell the story with sincerity and honesty.
Proserpina
Moderator
While that's true, being the custodial parent in the military is NOT going to be easy on you, your son or your career. Think wisely.
This is where you may run into trouble. What proof do you have that the boyfriend is a pedophile? Does his schizophrenia endanger anyone? Does the aunt live there? Is SHE proven to be a pedophile?
Did you get proof of this?
You WILL need to take this to court. Because if not, Mom can do exactly what you're saying here - come right up and take him right back. FILE NOW.
Seriously - file for divorce and temporary custody. NOW. Before she files.
That is patently incorrect. The cops won't force her to let her see him unless there's a court order, and even then, more often than not they won't get involved and will tell you to deal with it in court.
Proserpina
Moderator
I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that it's because you have no proof of anything, that nothing was done.
dyanna_williams
New Member
ive seen what you're asking happen in person with a friend.
u have the right as a parent to take youre child if in plain view without violence
(but as u stated earlier that when u went for visitation there where guns involved)
unluss otherwise court ordered not to do so.
but i wouldnt suggest going there due to the before violence.
also there is nothing to stop her from comming right back and taking him from you in
the same manner.
and having weekly custodial kidnapping matches arnt in the best intrest of the child
as far as the paternal issue, (which i know u didnt bring up or deny but it was addressed here )its nill u are the father and have paid child support it wouldnt
matter if the test came back saying 100% negative. children born out of a marriage
where no issue was claimed untill seperation, the man rarely prevails
but as others have already informed u, seek a laywer and do this the right way, file for temporary custody, and have this all done threw the court system, thats what its there for
and thank you for you're service to our country and best of luck to you
u have the right as a parent to take youre child if in plain view without violence
(but as u stated earlier that when u went for visitation there where guns involved)
unluss otherwise court ordered not to do so.
but i wouldnt suggest going there due to the before violence.
also there is nothing to stop her from comming right back and taking him from you in
the same manner.
and having weekly custodial kidnapping matches arnt in the best intrest of the child
as far as the paternal issue, (which i know u didnt bring up or deny but it was addressed here )its nill u are the father and have paid child support it wouldnt
matter if the test came back saying 100% negative. children born out of a marriage
where no issue was claimed untill seperation, the man rarely prevails
but as others have already informed u, seek a laywer and do this the right way, file for temporary custody, and have this all done threw the court system, thats what its there for
and thank you for you're service to our country and best of luck to you
As far as CPS goes I've personaly witness with a friend all it should take is a call with concern for the childs well being and they should act on it and investigate. You don't need proof for them to do so! They are the ones that are going to find out if there is proof. Which could really benifit you. I know how hard it can be to get poof. If you're child is in danger there then they need to do an investigation! I'd try again with getting them to do something. I know with my friend he was able to get the child back until the mother cooperated with them. Don't know if this helps..
Also there might be a snag, I know in my friends case the mother was given a notice from them ahead of time which gave her the chance to make the house look good and she was also given time to make sure she had no drugs in her system. Basically she got enough time to make sure she would pass....I've heard of this a lot in PA..
Also there might be a snag, I know in my friends case the mother was given a notice from them ahead of time which gave her the chance to make the house look good and she was also given time to make sure she had no drugs in her system. Basically she got enough time to make sure she would pass....I've heard of this a lot in PA..
As far as her being able to take him back. She wont be able to cause as soon as I get him I'm filing for custody. So if she attempts to take him back then it'll be kidnapping. But I do got a new problem added to this. She has recently moved & didnt give me her address so I would have no sending money to support my son or ever see him. My wife is very sneaky. She's finding more ways to keep him from me. I was told there was legal actions i could take if she was living with another man while still married. Something call bigitry or something. I know I didnt spell tht right though
Proserpina
Moderator
No it won't. Who told you that?
Until a court says otherwise, you BOTH have equal rights to your child.She's your WIFE - she can stroll in and pick him up the very second you go to work. EVEN IF you have filed for custody. Now once custody is decided, that may become a different matter.
No, it wouldn't be bigamy. It would be adultery, and in most states it ain't illegal. Even in the states where it's still illegal, it's incredibly rarely prosecuted and may have no bearing whatsoever on custody. What you need to do - honestly - is get yourself to a civilian attorney NOW and file for divorce. You can request temporary custody but both as a practical matter and because Mom already has him with her, that's unlikely to happen at this point.
Proserpina
Moderator
Also, Trace - if you're deploying, you're not going to get physical custody of your son. I'm sorry, but that's just the harsh reality. The most you should expect is joint legal custody, with Mom having physical placement, and ample visitation.
- Status
