Did my college break the law?

[chezanne]

Hi,

I recently went to an employee of my university to confide in him about another student who committed a crime against me (sexual assault). I didn't want to share the student's name, but the person I spoke to said he just wanted to have the name on file in case it happened again and that it would be completely confidential. He told me only he and one other employee would see the name and that it was only to have on record, and that no action would be taken against the student. So, I reluctantly gave him the name.

On Monday I had a meeting where I was surprised to find that he had in fact shared the name and details of the incident with the head of Judicial Affairs, who said she is now obligated to confront the individual. This is the last thing I want, and I have expressed this. My position is that they obtained the information through unethical and possibly illegal means, by deliberately misleading me into thinking it would be confidential. My goal is to stop the confrontation from happening; however I have also offered up a compromise in which instead of a one-on-one meeting with the individual, Judicial Affairs would require his entire fraternity to have a workshop about sexual assault, so that he and all his brothers would hear this very important information but he would not know that I had specifically reported him. However, they refused.

Did my university break a law, and do I have a leg to stand on in asking them to keep this confrontation from taking place?

Thank you.

 

[mightymoose]

No, they did not break the law. In fact, they are doing the right thing by taking action.
Who knows how many others have been assaulted, and how many more will be if nothing is done? Can you imagine the liability the school would have if this person continued sexually assaulting women and they did nothing to stop it when they had the chance?

Anyway- from what you say the school is taking action, but apparently law enforcement has not yet gotten involved.

Personally, I encourage you to report the incident to law enforcement. You can remain anonymous in public records, and if you are unwilling to seek prosecution the matter won't go far. If you do this then they will have a history on this offender, and they will know that the next woman he sexually assaults was not the first.

No, the school has does not seem to have done anything wrong, and no, there isn't anything you can do to stop whatever action they might decide to take. If this guy committed the offense then he deserves whatever punishment he gets... and he will be lucky if it is only from the school.

 

[chezanne]

I appreciate what you're saying but I sincerely doubt he will repeat the offense. Without going into detail, the situation in which this happened was very unique, to say the least... definitely didn't meet the "typical" description of date rape, and I don't think he fits the profile of a repeat offender (and I do know what I'm talking about as I've done plenty of reading and learning about sexual assault since this incident happened... to the point of being obsessive). I don't think he'll do it again, and I don't think he's a threat.

The problem is that if/when JA confronts him about it, he will know I was the one that reported him, regardless of whether my name is mentioned or not, and he'll proceed to make my life hell... he's done it before. Not through physical threats, violence, stalking, or anything else that law enforcement has any sort of power to prevent, but through manipulation, rumors, etc. I'm fully expecting to be completely ostracized by my campus community, and transferring to another college is not an option at this point.

I am not going to law enforcement either, for reasons that are my own.

I have been going to therapy and meeting with a rape-crisis counselor for months now, in order to reach the point where I stop feeling guilt and to where I can move past this. All I want is for the incident to be behind me. I'm finally almost at this point, and now my university is going to throw it back in my face. That is the problem.

Edit: I should add that even my rape-crisis counselor thinks that confronting this person is an awful idea that's going to cause nothing but problems, given the situation.

 

[mightymoose]

You may doubt that he would repeat, but how will you feel when you find out that he does and you did nothing about it?
Don't let him think he can get away with that behavior. If there is no consequence then you are fueling the fire.
Maybe you are not the first?

I realize you are in a difficult position. There is no simple solution for you. Your counselor should be able to help you through the tough decisions you need to make.

The answer to your question though, regarding the school, is that they are not in the wrong.

 

[chezanne]

Thank you.