Assault & Battery family violence act...

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sydneybear

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I have a real bad situation my boyfriend/ baby's father has been arrested as of today because me and him got into an argument.

It escalated and got loud, but some man said he saw my boyfriend hit me.

when he didn't then two women that worked with the man that didn't even see what was going on said he hit me as well.

I'm pretty sure I would know if my boyfriend would have hit me?

But anyways I told the police I hit him he did not hit me.

but they still took him to jail what do I do!!!!


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All you can do is tell what you remember, if this goes to trial.
If you say he didn't hit you, stick to that story.
If you change it, it could mean more trouble for you.

Back to reality, it won't get him out any quicker.
He can bail out, but you'll be ordered to stay away from each other, not to speak to each other, or have any contact until this matter has been concluded.
Be smart, do as the judge orders.

Before you get yourself in deep poo-poo for nothing, be advised, the persecutor has heard this tale many times.
It won't make this disappear.
Nature and the law must run their respective courses.
 
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He has become my best friend because he is all I have an since this has happened now I don't know what to do and should I tell the judge I hit him? Or just say he didn't hit me :(

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sydneybear said:
He has become my best friend because he is all I have an since this has happened now I don't know what to do and should I tell the judge I hit him? Or just say he didn't hit me :(

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Has an order of protection been issued?
I know Georgia is very strict about keeping the victim and the batterer apart.
I'm not sure how the work issue is addressed in GA.
In Texas, one wouldn't have to quit their job, but they might have to work different shifts.
In most cases, they're required not to avoid each other.

When the order is issued, it'll all be explained. If its been issued and you have questions, you're told who to contact for answers.

If the parties lived together, the batterer is required to move out.

You aren't allowed to call, write, text, see, touch, be within 300 yards of each other, telegraph, use hand signals, smoke signals, semaphore signals, morse code, email, or send messages by carrier pigeon. In other words, no contact of any type.

You should just tell the truth.
The cops have two witnesses.
They really don't need you, but you'll probably be called.

Bottom line, you just can't behave that way. No matter what happens now, if it happens again, the penalty goes up.

Is he in jail?
Has a no contact order been issued?
What did the cops tell you?
Where did all this go down?
 
He is in jail was just placed there yesterday so idk what's bbeen issued an nothing just that he was going to jail that he would go before a judge Wednesday? In town I was walking to a friends house because I was upset and mad and I told him I would be fine but he wouldn't take that because I am pregnant with his child he pled for me to get in the car he didn't feel safe with me walking we were still argueing at the time so I refused and kept walking he grabbed my hand trying to comfort me and I went ballistic I was so upset and didn't want him to tosuch me that I over reacted but the man that "saw" what was supposedly going on was almost 200 feet away at the nearby YMCA my car was in the way of his view and we were also infront a building and I know for sure where he was located he couldn't see a thing all he saw was the end when my boyfriend has his arms around me to keep me from hitting him again... And we were both wearing black clothes so I know they mistaked me for him and as soon as the man came over he was provoking my bf to fight him and I was telling the man. I was fine and he didn't have to call the cops he was my bf and hadn't harmed me I feel like it is because my bf is black is why he went to jail because me and the passenger in my car told the police he didn't hit me I hit him but they still took my bf??? And not only that but when all this was happening a random came and got my keys from out of my car to keep my bf from leaving becAuse of what the man. Had told her I had walked off by this time so I was unaware until I saw the cops speeding to the scene so I had my boyfriend pick me up to take me back because it is not his fault it was mine!! And the officers called me a liar told me I had a welp on my head when I clearly didn't he is the only one with a mark on his nose and he was bleeding so I don't understand any of this at all!!!! :(

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The only reason. They had to suspect that my boyfriend had hit me was the man from far away and the two women he told it too.... Me and the passenger told the cops went down me passenger and my bf had same stories and the other three people had their on same story but I wasn't there to talk to my boyfriend or passenger about the story until after the cops had questioned us but those 3 white people had all the time in the world to conversate amongst each other about it before the cops came and the lady showed off having my keys to the cops. Like they were for show!! And she was like they fell out his pocket during altercation how the heck would she know when she wasn't even there too see she didn't come up until after I left!!! And just so you know I am white my self but I do feel this is a racial thing!

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This kind of thing has not happened for me or him so what will they do to him :( this situation is all my fault!!! I wish the cops would have just took me

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All you can do is relax, take care of yourself and the baby, and be in court on Wednesday.
You don't want anything to happen to the baby.
You might want to check with the jail and see if he has a bond, or will have a bond.
Then see if you can help raise the money to get him bailed out.
Whatever you do, don't let him discuss this over the telephone from jail.
 
Here's the problem.

It is so common for woman who have been victims of abuse, to deny the abuse or try to have charges dropped, that the police and the courts pay very little attention. The abused woman (and/or man - abuse is not limited to one gender, but it is more often woman abused by man that makes it into court) is so afraid of what her abuser will do if she takes any action to defend herself, that she either does not report it at all or tries to undo it if she does. This happens in such a high percentage of cases that the courts have learned to disregard cries of, "but he didn't do anything". This means that sometimes, EVEN IF IT IS TRUE that he didn't do anything, the courts do not believe you when you say that.

The best way of resolving this paradox is to follow what you are being told. Follow the no contact order. Be in court when ordered to be. Give a clear and unambiguous, but TRUTHFUL account of what happened. Be prepared to answer any questions. Do not get defensive. Be polite. Say, Yes/No, sir/ma'am to counsel and Yes/No, Your Honor to the judge.

There are no guarantees. But if you want anyone to pay attention to what you are saying, that is the way to behave.
 
Thank you so much but this Is my thing if I had Been hit by him why would I return to the scene to straighten it up I could of just let him take the wrap for it all if he had done it.... Im just so scared :/

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sydneybear said:
Thank you so much but this Is my thing if I had Been hit by him why would I return to the scene to straighten it up I could of just let him take the wrap for it all if he had done it.... Im just so scared :/

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Is he on probation or parole?
If so, what was he convicted of doing?
 
sydneybear said:
Thank you so much but this Is my thing if I had Been hit by him why would I return to the scene to straighten it up I could of just let him take the wrap for it all if he had done it.... Im just so scared :/

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Because that is what battered women do. They try to take responsibility for what their batterer did. "It's all my fault; I deserved what happened to me". They do everything they can to take the responsibility themselves and protect their abuser. They generally truly believe that they are responsible, that it is their fault, and that they deserve what is happening and don't want anything to happen to their batterer so that they won't be punished further.

Even if we accept every word of what you are saying as true (and I have no reason to disbelieve you) you are behaving and responding in the same way that a woman does who has been battered. You need to accept that the police and the court have seen this many, many times before and in most of those cases, the woman was being hit, or worse. It's going to take more than your saying, "He didn't hit me" to overcome this and you need to know that up front.
 
We have the passenger that was with us but because he called the white man that tried to attack my bf an asshole the women would not believe his story

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sydneybear said:
We have the passenger that was with us but because he called the white man that tried to attack my bf an asshole the women would not believe his story

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Well, see what happens tomorrow.
You and the your passenger/witness make it a fair fight, in that its two against three, better than three against one.
You really don't want to bring up any racial issues.
That rarely works, and often agitates the police and prosecutors.
So, until he has his own attorney, do as CBG said, be polite, dress conservatively, show respect, and don't offer personal opinions (that's a trap you won't escape).

When he gets an attorney or a public defender, take his or her advice.

You should call the jail and find out exactly what he's been charged with, then call a bail bindsman and ask how much a bond would cost for XYZ and ABC charges?
 
Ok so a contact order has been issued his grandma bonded him out and we don't have court until 28th but they only have 3 witnesses not our passenger... Why is that

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With all due respect, how do you expect us to know?

Why is your attorney not calling your passenger as a witness?
 
We haven't been to trial yet.... The cops have reported that there wad only three witnesses and they a're the ones that have spoken against my boyfriend.... I know this sounds far fetch and you think I might be lieing but I promise you I would not try this hard for justice if it was a lie!

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I am a strong independent female and I know wrong from right.... And if a man has hit me I will not hesitate to tell that but I hit him and know for a fact he didn't hit me the cops even put he bruised my temple and I have no bruise!!!

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