My in laws

[Mustapha]

Thank you very much.

Allow me to offer some additional food for thought.

My wife and I have been happily married for 51 years.

We have survived and thrived because we learned to compromise and negotiate.

I was never enthusiastic about allowing relatives (or friends) to stay overnight in our home.

I felt the same way when visiting relatives or friends, so I always chose to stay in a hotel.

Our home is not a hotel.

Our home is intended for me and my wife.

We do allow our young grandchildren to stay overnight with us.

The older grands will sometimes wish to spend the night with us, and we also enjoy that.

I have worked very hard over my life, as has my spouse, to amass a tidy little fortune.

On our ranch we built a guest house, and also have a couple trailers.
When family visits us on our ranch, we offer them the use of one of those properties.

In the city, we used to reimburse our children and their families when they visited.

Today, due to much hard work, frugality, and effort; no one requires any financial assistance when visiting us.

Our parents were never an issue.

My "in-laws" would visit and stay in their RV.

My parents would always stay in a hotel when visiting us.

Sadly, both sets have passed on, and that remains a non-issue.

The older I grow, the less tolerant I become with anyone rearranging mys stuff, or altering my routine.

I have never imposed upon anyone once I left the home of my mother and father to make my way in this big, often cruel world.

You and your wife would be wise to discuss this topic, and see if an accommodation can be achieved.

My wife and I had such a discussion decades ago, and we were able to reach a mutually acceptable solution.

If you can't work this issue out satisfactorily for both of you, resentment and recrimination will slowly infect your marriage.

I wish you and your spouse happiness, health, and wisdom.

Than

 

[leslie82]

You could help bring life to it

I have posted...it's just pretty dead. Not too many recent posts. I imagine tumbleweeds would blow through if it was an actual place...

 

[ElleMD]

You married your wife for some reason. This is the person YOU chose to make your family. If she is truly some sort of evil, awful, spiteful and hateful person who treats all others with disdain and contempt, then you chose poorly and should divorce and be done.

OR, you could try talking to your wife, with the help of a counselor perhaps, find out why there is resentment toward your family. Me thinks it is not that your mother is all sweetness and light and your wife is just mean to her for funsies. After all, she already knows you will take her side and that this woman will be staying with you for months at a time every year. It is natural to feel closer to one's own family they grew up with than those they did not, but you both seem to have a fair amount of resentment for each others families and you are still fully blaming your wife without even considering that maybe she feels put upon with extra guests, or your mother isn't as blameless as you think.