I am wondering if there is anyway for a father to sign over rights with out there being anyone involved with the mother? I have a 5 month old with a man that decided to get back with his ex-wife and they have a 5 year old together. My little one is not allowed at their home and is not allowed around their child. The father has to sneek away to see my baby. He is constantly trying to create havic in our lives and I feel that it is not healthy for my baby to be subjected to this kind of behavior. He wants to sign over rights so that he can devote all of his time and money to his family that he already has. Is this something that can be done. We both agree this is in the best intrest of the baby.
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Signing over rights in the best intrest of baby
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You would need to seek an attorney as this is not a do it yourself project.
Is the wife aware that he has a child with you? It is the husbands responsibility to take advantage of his fatherly rights and if he is going to let the wife control everything, then yes the child might suffer.
It might be really hard for you to do this, because the state wants both a man and a woman to support the child. If rights are terminated then you might file for government assistance and the state does not want to fork out money when you should be receicing child support.
The father does not have to use his visitation, but he does have to pay support if you file.
Are you sure you really want to raise this child on your own without any financial help from him?
You would need to see a family law attorney. This probably would not be a cheap process.
Is the wife aware that he has a child with you? It is the husbands responsibility to take advantage of his fatherly rights and if he is going to let the wife control everything, then yes the child might suffer.
It might be really hard for you to do this, because the state wants both a man and a woman to support the child. If rights are terminated then you might file for government assistance and the state does not want to fork out money when you should be receicing child support.
The father does not have to use his visitation, but he does have to pay support if you file.
Are you sure you really want to raise this child on your own without any financial help from him?
You would need to see a family law attorney. This probably would not be a cheap process.
Yes his wife does know about my daughter. And yes she does call all the shots as far as he is concerned. He told me the only reason he got back together with her is because she is crazy and he is concerned about his sons well being. She flips out in front of their 5 yr. old son and tells him she is going to kill herself because his daddy is not nice to her. (This I have personally heard over the phone when I was living with him). So the reason my daughter is not allowed at their home is because I made it very clear I do not want that woman around my baby, I am afraid of what she might do. I told the father that I would bring the baby over to see him and his son if she is not around and his wife told him that, "that bitch" (meaning me) is not allowed in or around her house. So therefore he chooses not to see my baby because I live an hour and a half away from him. And he does not think it is a good idea for the children to know each other because then he would have to explain to his son how daddy has another child with someone other than his mother.
To answer the question of financial responsiblity, I have no problem taking care of my daughter without his help or the help of government aid.
He called me today and asked how soon he could sign over his rights. I informed him that it might not be possible due to the fact there is no one that is wanting to adopt her and be a father to her. The only way would probably have to be court ordered due to abuse, neglect and so forth. His reply was "well can't we prove neglect, seeing as how I don't want to be around?"
All I can say to that is...he is a sad, sad person. How can you just turn your back on a beautiful child. I believe he will regret all he has done wrong ...someday.
To answer the question of financial responsiblity, I have no problem taking care of my daughter without his help or the help of government aid.
He called me today and asked how soon he could sign over his rights. I informed him that it might not be possible due to the fact there is no one that is wanting to adopt her and be a father to her. The only way would probably have to be court ordered due to abuse, neglect and so forth. His reply was "well can't we prove neglect, seeing as how I don't want to be around?"
All I can say to that is...he is a sad, sad person. How can you just turn your back on a beautiful child. I believe he will regret all he has done wrong ...someday.
Father abandonment is not neglect. If he did not want to support the child then he should not have had the affair.
Keep in mind I am not an attorney, I am not saying it is impossible to get termination done, but you being single and not remarried does make it much harder.
If he is going to let his wife call the shots, and not enforce his fatherly rights by court ordered vistation, then he does not have too. He can still pay support and never see the child if that is the way he wants it.
I am really surprised his wife stayed with him. Getting a woman pregnant outside of his marriage would be a dealbreaker for me.
Honestly, if he is so unhappy with his wife he should file for divorce and file for temporary custody since she has been threatening you. Him staying with that witch is probably only going to cause more problems for his child.
Keep in mind I am not an attorney, I am not saying it is impossible to get termination done, but you being single and not remarried does make it much harder.
If he is going to let his wife call the shots, and not enforce his fatherly rights by court ordered vistation, then he does not have too. He can still pay support and never see the child if that is the way he wants it.
I am really surprised his wife stayed with him. Getting a woman pregnant outside of his marriage would be a dealbreaker for me.
Honestly, if he is so unhappy with his wife he should file for divorce and file for temporary custody since she has been threatening you. Him staying with that witch is probably only going to cause more problems for his child.
They have been divorced for almost 3 years. They decided to get back together when my daughter turned 2 months. They are not married. She was with a man and got pregnant twice and aborted them while they were going through the divorce. She does not understand why I didn't do the same.
Bottom line then is he needs to decide what he wants to do. You do not have to let him terminate his rights. If he is not married anymore, i would not do it. He needs to learn how to deal with that witch and if she is causing that many problems with his children, he needs to go to court and seek a custody change.
It would be in your best interest and the baby's best interest if you can terminate his rights since that's what he wants. Otherwise down the road, she might find out about the child and if they marry they can fight for custody or at the least the court would order your child to visit them at their house. She might do this out of spite for you having a child with him if she is crazy like he said. My ex use to say I was crazy and he was divorcing me just to get women to feel sorry for him and go out with him, so you don't know for sure if she is crazy or if he just doesn't want anything to do with your child. Either way, it's a bad situation because anything can happen. The courts now side with the father having visitation and it doesn't matter if you don't want that child going over there. The wife or girlfriend always find out about things like this sooner or later. Children grow up just fine with 1 parent if that parent loves them enough. They don't grow up fine with a father that doesn't really want them.
I'm sorry. I misunderstood. I thought the wife didn't know about the baby. You still never know what she might do to get back at him and you. If you ever go to court for anything about the child, including getting child support, the court will order him visitation rights and he will get to take the child home with him. I've been to court enough to know that much is true. If he is insisting on signing his rights away then it's best to do that. You can't force someone to be a father and sometimes they do regret it but most of the time they don't. Most men don't seem to have as deep a connection with their children as women do. Good luck in whatever you decide.
He does not have to see the child if he does not want too. NCP do not have to use his vistation. He does have to support the child. There is no reason why he should be able to walk away from this. A judge probably would not let him out of this just because he cannot control his ex wife. He still has to pay child support, but he does not have to use the vistation.
I agree with you completely. I did not see the part where there is not another party willing to adopt the child. There has to be someone willing to adopt before a parent can sign their rights away. Most fathers aren't going to pay the child support and then not visit. Usually if they are paying, they are wanting to visit. I just want this mother to know that it will not be up to her to say that the child can't visit at his house with this other woman there if that's what the man ends up wanting. Now if he doesn't want the child near his ex wife then that's up to him to decide. The custodial mother does not have any rights as to where visits shall be held. But he can't give up his rights without someone willing to adopt the child.
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