support question

[barbie77]

ok heres the story. mom and dad have 5yr old child out of wedlock. support was set up but at the time custody wasn't(don't think that custody matters in this situation). There was a period of time when mom was leaving child with dad for 3 weeks out of the month for nearly 6 months. Dad stopped paying support because he had the child. He started keeping a calender of all the over nights he had the child. I think he should have tried filing modification paperwork. Its been over 6 months since all of this. is there any way that dad can get that money back? Thats almost $1600 which he still "owes" If he can't he can accept that but if theres a chance he'd like to know what he should do.

He did suggest to mom of letting him claim the little one on his taxes that way she would get all that money and since for more than half of the year he had the child he thought it would have only been fair. Mom didn't let him.

 

[Proserpina]

Nope - he's out of luck on this one. You're right - he should have filed to modify back then.

But if nothing else, he knows better now

 

[barbie77]

ok thanks! Thought so. Its a shame but you're right he def. knows better now. Sometimes guys just dont listen...

Mom did say dad could claim little one on next years taxes. Should dad get that in writting? maybe notarized? Even if he has it in writting can she still decide otherwise? If they have joint custody is dad able to get it set up where maybe they alternate who claims or since mom has physical custody will she always get to claim unless she gives dad permission?

 

[Proserpina]

If they will both agree to claim kiddo in alternate years, they can submit a stipulation to the court and this will become part of the current orders.

(This is actually quite common, but it sounds like in this case Mom may object based upon how often Dad currently has kiddo)

To be honest, even a notarized document isn't necessarily going to stand up in court - if Dad wants something to be enforceable, it must be done via the right court channels.

Mom can notarize anything and then change her mind, and Dad will likely have no recourse against her.

 

[barbie77]

So the only way to have it set in court order for them to claim her alternativly is if they both agree to it? Dad wouldn't have any chance of getting that set up if she doesn't want that right? What would happen if they got it set up and she later changes her mind?

 

[Proserpina]

Dad can absolutely try to modify the current order without Mom's agreement - the judge may or may not agree, and it might not hurt to give it a try anyway

Once it becomes a court order, Mom can change her mind all she likes..but she MUST abide by that court order.

Court orders are Dad's friends. And Mom's actually - I know I've said this a few times, but it's true that court orders protect everyone's interests.

 

[barbie77]

Thank you! Very helpful! I'm not sure how he would justify it though considering once little one goes to school dad will only be seeing her about 4 days out of the whole month. Which Dad is very unhappy about. I don't think the courts would really see reason for letting dad claim her then. Not sure if they base who claims her on who has her more but if thats the case dad wouldn't really have a chance.

 

[barbie77]

also just reminded me of something when you said about court orders. If I'm not mistaken the court order that mom and dad have right now actually says that they are to already have started doing the every other weekend but since little ones not in school yet and mom and dad both dont want her in day care if she doesn't need to be mom has been letting dad have her every other week if not more. Is what they're doing considered breaking the court order? could anyone be in trouble for something like that? They were supposed to have gone to every other weekend by the end of sept. but I don't know if that was just if she had started school... if mom would, i dont know, decide to only start giving dad every other weekend would dad be able to do anything about it. dad walks on egg shells with her as to not make her mad ever because he's afraid she will do something like that and go from seeing his daughter a little over half the month to only a week. Also sorry so many endless questions but thank you so much this is very helpful!

 

[nitikasnv]

I agree too:

If they will both agree to claim kiddo in alternate years, they can submit a stipulation to the court and this will become part of the current orders.

(This is actually quite common, but it sounds like in this case Mom may object based upon how often Dad currently has kiddo)

To be honest, even a notarized document isn't necessarily going to stand up in court - if Dad wants something to be enforceable, it must be done via the right court channels.

Mom can notarize anything and then change her mind, and Dad will likely have no recourse against her.

Hi,

I too agree that if they both get agree to claim kiddo in alternate years, they can submit a stipulation to the court and this will become part of the current orders.

Thanks

 

[barbie77]

Mom may not agree to the claiming. I think her saying he can claim her next year was just to get him off her back about it for now. Do you think the courts would let dad get an order for him to claim her everyother year when hes only having her every other weekend durring school and then every other week+ in the summer? Do they look at who gets to claim based on who has the child the most?

Also what about the question I had about their court order right now? If mom for any reason gets mad at dad can she just decide to start doing the everyother weekend or do you think thats not till she goes to school? do you think theyre breaking the court order?