What are the chances of my sons Father getting 50/50 custody?

[Jfin]

I was only with my boyfriend 5 months when I got pregnant. He was adamant about me getting an abortion, but I didn't. He was worried about the cost and wasn't mature or ready, so I paid for everything. I even let him live with me at no cost to him. The entire relationship he would start drinking at work and not come home to me or my child at a reasonable hour. Sometimes not at all. However, twice a week while I worked he did pick up our son from daycare and watch him until I came home. Usually 3.5 hours. Otherwise he was always my responsibility while he carried on and partied. A year after our son was born I couldn't take his drinking any longer. I made him move out and we tried to be reasonable on visitation. I filed for joint custody and sole legal custody based on his inability to be there and be sober to make decisions. He loves his son but doesn't understand the parental responsibility at all. He had never paid for him (except the occasional box of diapers and food), the responsibility of our son was always mine. When he first moved out I had trust issues of him being sober, so I made him visit our son in my home. I also wouldn't let him take our son overnight unless he went and stayed at his parents because I believed he would control his drinking and partying on those visitation nights if he was at his parents. He now lives with his brother, his girlfriend(who is also my ex-boyfriends ex-girlfriend) and her two emotionally unstable children from a previous marriage so I didn't feel like that environment was acceptable for a 13 month old baby. On one of his visitation overnights, he left our son at his parents, went out drinking, and got arrested for a DWI at 1:00 in the morning as well as a ticket for operating an ATV unlawfully on a highway. He didn't tell me any of this or his parents when he got home the next morning for that matter, I found out a week later on Google. So I cancelled his visitation for the next day, which unfortunately was Father's Day. I didn't trust that he actually had a valid license and I was very disappointed in his continued poor decision making that happened during our entire relationship. He got very mad and filed a temporary custody hearing where he wants our son one week, and then I get him the next week. We go to court on Wednesday, and while I don't believe anyone in their right mind would grant this, I was wondering what the professional opinion would be.

 

[shrinkmaster]

I'm confused have you already been to court? You mention filing.

 

[Jfin]

I filed in January. He keeps getting extensions to responding to my discovery questions. So he filed an emergency temporary custody request because i wouldnt let him take our son until i confirmed he still has a valid Drivers License. he does. He still hasn't filed a parenting plan or answered our motion to compel for one.

 

[Proserpina]

One week on/off is a perfectly dreadful parenting plan for an infant of 13 months.

 

[Jfin]

Exactly. He is never thinking of our son. He just wants to establish a 50/50 custody before we go to trial because he thinks he won't have to pay child support. I can't imagine going a week at a time without my baby.

 

[Proserpina]

I wonder if he realizes that a 50/50 timeshare does NOT rule out the possibility of him paying child support ...

 

[momma_2_four]

My ex thought he would be able to do the same, although my child was 10 when he did this. 50/50 would mean he wouldn't have to pay child support. When he found out that wouldn't work (after it was already implemented) he went back to court seeking a change in which school our son would attend. Again not realizing this would not change the child support obligation. The obligation in my state is based on who primarily pays for everything up front. Not once did he think of our child's best interest, only his own. Fortunately, while the courts agreed on the 50/50, they did not agree to force my child to change schools.

It may be prudent to speak to your ex about his expectations if you really think he is interested in stopping child support or trying to get you to pay child support make him understand this will not change his obligation and suggest working with him if he feels he is unable to meet his c/s obligation. I'd take no c/s every month if it meant our son was being given the best options for his well-being given the situation and his personality.