Child Custody and visitation pre divorce

[MJHarpo]

A judge may consider a child's preferences when determining which parent will receive sole or primary child custody in a divorce. Here's what you need to know about whether children can choose custody in Michigan.

In Michigan, child custody cases are very complicated and consider many variables when determining the child's best interests. A judge may consider the child's reasonable preference if the court deems the child to be of sufficient age to express their opinion.

- Parenting Time - Ellen Paynter Michigan Divorce Lawyer / Michigan Divorce Attorney

Sufficient Age for Children to Impact Custody Cases
In Michigan, children who are 17 years of age or older can choose the parent with whom they prefer to live. Children can impact the child custody outcomes when under 17 years old, but it may become more difficult. If a child is between 9 and 17 years old, a judge will interview the child and determine their personal preferences.

A Michigan judge may interview children as young as age six if the judge deems the child mature enough to understand the meaning of the child custody case.

The degree to which the judge will take the child's opinion into account varies by case.

If a judge decides parents are even in all of the positives and negatives they bring to a child's life, the court may give a child's preferences greater consideration.

Thank you. It seems like every time the older three come home from an overnight with their father they want to live with him. Then they spend a few nights with me and their position changes. Will this matter to my lawyer?

 

[army judge]

Thank you. It seems like every time the older three come home from an overnight with their father they want to live with him. Then they spend a few nights with me and their position changes. Will this matter to my lawyer?

Older, younger, remember ALL of them are still developing.
What you describe is what a judge will endeavor to discover.

The majority of children aren't mature enough to determine which parent is better.

Most of those children who voice a preference are describing which parent allows me to have my way, which parent has fewer rules, and which parent gives me more stuff.

 

[stealthy1]

One thing I will add to @army judge 's post wrt children choosing... While the court may interview the children, they are also quite wise to language that indicates coaching. That's something you want to avoid at all costs. The only thing parents should "coach" their children on wrt speaking with a judge, GAL, etc.? "Tell the truth." They should in no way be made to feel that you will be angry or upset if the truth is that they love the other parent and want to spend time with them, even live with them.

If you feel the other parent is a real danger? Prove it - your lawyer can help you figure out how to do that. But don't expect your kids to turn on their other parent to gain your approval.

 

[stealthy1]

Thank you. It seems like every time the older three come home from an overnight with their father they want to live with him. Then they spend a few nights with me and their position changes. Will this matter to my lawyer?

What matters to your lawyer is somewhat irrelevant. Will it matter to the judge or GAL is debatable. Because they will see that they have a great time with both you and Dad. Apparently their position changes after going home with Dad and spending time with him. It's not a bad thing, necessarily.

I dealt with a similar situation. Our kids had a great time with their Dad. Cried every time I picked them up. Of course, they also cried every time he picked them up from me. And that's where the GAL came into play - to figure out why they cried wrt being with me and being with Dad.

I'd suggested requesting a GAL.

 

[MJHarpo]

One thing I will add to @army judge 's post wrt children choosing... While the court may interview the children, they are also quite wise to language that indicates coaching. That's something you want to avoid at all costs. The only thing parents should "coach" their children on wrt speaking with a judge, GAL, etc.? "Tell the truth." They should in no way be made to feel that you will be angry or upset if the truth is that they love the other parent and want to spend time with them, even live with them.

If you feel the other parent is a real danger? Prove it - your lawyer can help you figure out how to do that. But don't expect your kids to turn on their other parent to gain your approval.

Thank you very much. I feel vindicated as I have told them over and over to tell the truth. I was beginning to think I was wrong as he does not hold to that view.

 

[MJHarpo]

One thing I will add to @army judge 's post wrt children choosing... While the court may interview the children, they are also quite wise to language that indicates coaching. That's something you want to avoid at all costs. The only thing parents should "coach" their children on wrt speaking with a judge, GAL, etc.? "Tell the truth." They should in no way be made to feel that you will be angry or upset if the truth is that they love the other parent and want to spend time with them, even live with them.

If you feel the other parent is a real danger? Prove it - your lawyer can help you figure out how to do that. But don't expect your kids to turn on their other parent to gain your approval.

My oldest son has pictures of a recent outing to a friends pond. The 7 year old twins are on a rafter in the middle of the pond with no life jackets. He has often taken them on overnights without taking their inhalers and the epi pen. He under dresses them often but thats about all I can think of .

Thank you very much. I feel vindicated as I have told them over and over to tell the truth. I was beginning to think I was wrong as he does not hold to that view.

I just rec'd his response to my complaint for divorce. It strikes me as odd and I don't know what it would mean but he asked for joint physical and joint legal custody. It strikes me as odd because the three older kids came home from the weekend with their father and they all said daddy says we get to tell the judge who we want to live with. If it is joint physical and legal custody and means split equally does it not?

 

[Red Kayak]

He has often taken them on overnights without taking their inhalers and the epi pen.

You should request that the orders require that the parent ensure that during their parenting time these items be readily available. While it's very difficult to enforce such orders, because this could be life threatening, it should be noted.

Not only should you request a GAL, but you should have (<1 pg per child) available their schedules, usual activities, and medical/dental issues.