Ex-Spouse Military Benefits

zddoodah

Well-Known Member
Jurisdiction
US Federal Law
Hey all...might be the first time I've started a thread.

My brother was a veteran of the Navy, and he died in October 2023. He and I were not close and he was not particularly close with the immediate family for the last 25 years or so. He got married in the mid-'90s, and his wife got him to be active with the family for a few years. However, by the turn of the century, they were largely out of contact.

Over the last 5-8 years of his life, he and I were communicating a bit through Facebook, and we had lunch a few times when he would come to California. At one point, he wanted to talk about estate matters, and I asked him about his wife. He said she had "kicked me to the curb" a while ago. I then specifically asked if they had actually gotten divorced, and he said yes.

Fast forward to a couple months ago. I got a call from his ex-wife and sent her a copy of the death certificate. More recently, she has asked me for a written statement in connection with her efforts to obtain some sort of VA benefits. She says she's entitled to them because they were married more than 10 years, but for some reason she needs a statement from me to the effect that they "had a continuous relationship." She has left me lengthy messages describing the extent to which they were in contact with each other, but I have no personal knowledge of anything, and I'm reluctant to put anything in writing that's going to be submitted to the federal government that is nothing more than a regurgitation of what she's telling.

Anyway...the reason for the post is to find out if this even makes sense. I can believe there are benefits that she might by entitled to if, in fact, they were married a certain length of time, but I have a hard time believing that getting those benefits might be dependent on a statement from me (even if I had personal knowledge). Anyone have any insight into this? Thanks.
 
Sorry to hear about the death of your brother and the family situation. Without addressing the actual question you're asking: as this seems to require you to invest time and possibly extend yourself, what reason would you have to want you to do this? Maybe there are are reasons that you don't have to answer here but my impression is that you've got a very good handle and perspective on the situation.
 
I have a certain limited knowledge of social security benefits, but VA benefits are outside my comfort zone. If any questions arise about his Social Security, though, let me know and I'll see what I can get through my contacts.
 
as this seems to require you to invest time and possibly extend yourself, what reason would you have to want you to do this?

None whatsoever, and my inclination is to email her and say that I can't help because I don't have any knowledge of their relationship at any relevant time. That said, I'm a bit curious if she's even on the right track with this.
 
Info about survivor's benefits at:


More at the Office of Survivors Assistance:


You can refer her to those websites if you like but you have no obligation to help her, especially if she's asking you to fabricate information of which you have no direct knowledge.

PS. She may also be eligible for Social Security survivor benefits. When my ex-wife died I got my SS retirement kicked up to the higher amount that she had been getting.
 
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