Excessive Phone Calls

[Ravenna]

Jurisdiction

Indiana

Is one daily phone call to the mother adequate when the children are with their father? Do you have to allow multiple calls every day? And are you required to arrange a phone call on days when there is a custody exchange and the other parent will obviously see the children anyway?

 

[adjusterjack]

What does your custody order say about phone calls?

Why is this even an issue? Are you two so hostile towards each other that you can't agree on something as simple as phone calls?

I grieve for the children.

 

[Red Kayak]

Is one daily phone call to the mother adequate when the children are with their father?

Maybe. For some of us it's even too often.

Do you have to allow multiple calls every day?

What do your court orders say?

And are you required to arrange a phone call on days when there is a custody exchange and the other parent will obviously see the children anyway?

Again, what do you court orders say?

Note: while you may not "have to", from a practical point of view, life might be easier if you are more understanding.

 

[army judge]

Is one daily phone call to the mother adequate when the children are with their father? Do you have to allow multiple calls every day? And are you required to arrange a phone call on days when there is a custody exchange and the other parent will obviously see the children anyway?

How many children are involved?

What are the ages of all the children?

Did paternity testing ESTABLISH the custodial male parental unit as the father?

Were ALL of the children conceived and birthed while you were married?

Were any of the children conceived and birthed during a lawful marriage?

How did the you and the father come to agree that dad serves as the custodial parent?

How much child support are you ordered to pay the custodial parent?

Are you current with ALL mandated child support payments, if it applies?


Once you answer my simple questions, I might be in a better position to provide answers.

 

[stealthy1]

In addition to judge's questions - how long are the children with Dad? How frequently does Mom entertain calls to Dad on her time? How long are these calls?

Frankly, even daily calls during Dad's (presumably) limited time seem excessive, with a few exceptions.

- the child is requesting to make the call every day
- the visit is for an extended period of time

Honestly, daily calls - never mind multiple calls per day - can be disruptive, regardless which home the kids are at. At the custodial parent's, there is homework, extracurriculars, family time, etc. At the noncustodial's - often much of the same. Plus, most NCPs get significantly less time, so incessant calls are that much more disruptive.

When my ex & I split, it wasn't amicable, so we had it written into the order that there was to be a call once a week - with the day/time specified by the parent w/o the kids - and the children were to be allowed to call at will. If we weren't home on that day/time, I would let my ex know where he could reach the kids (pre-cell days), let him know what time they'd be home for him to call there (and then make sure they were), or offer the option of calling the next day (or another better suited to him if there was a conflict). It mostly worked out. If the kids were with Dad for the w/e? I didn't call. If for their summer time? We followed the scheduled time.

 

[zddoodah]

Is one daily phone call to the mother adequate when the children are with their father?

Adequate for what purpose? What are the relevant facts and circumstances, including the time division between the parents? How many daily phone calls to the father occur when the children are with their mother?

Do you have to allow multiple calls every day?

I don't have to allow anything. What does the divorce decree/custody order say about this subject?

And are you required to arrange a phone call on days when there is a custody exchange and the other parent will obviously see the children anyway?

This question could hardly be more vague.

 

[Michael Wechsler]

In summary, it would seem the answer is "it depends and probably not." As always, if there is an agreement in place, that needs to be reviewed since that would govern the terms and provide insight to answer the question. There are so many questions to ask but keep in mind the 'best interests of the child" approach that is foundational in custody issues.