It sounds like she really wants nothing to do with the sperm donor ultimately.
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New state
- Thread Starter Francis226901
- Start date
It sounds like she really wants nothing to do with the sperm donor ultimately.
Why would you even want any money from him? Visitation and child support are separate anyway...for good reason actually. There are at times custodial parents who will try to use visitation against the NCP for not paying CS. There are NCPs who have fallen behind for unforeseen circumstances but are good parents so shouldn't be punished for that. Not saying it's always the case but a custodial parent can't use lack of child support to refuse visitation WHEN a court ordered parenting plan exists.
See what happens with the consultations and if you hire a lawyer, talk only to them. Don't post on public forums anymore.
Zigner
Well-Known Member
"sperm donor"? Based on everything OP has written here, the father was attempting to build a relationship with his child and OP moved out of state without giving the father any contact info. She is actively hiding his child from him. She went so far as to drop a child support case because she learned that the father would be able to (rightly) have the birth certificate amended to reflect child's correct father.
Zigner
Well-Known Member
To be fair, the child has the right to be supported appropriately by both parents. The OP really should be doing anything possible to make that happen. If she doesn't want the money, then put it in a college fund for kiddo.
Not her decision. Now she gets to deal with him for the next 15 years.
No I was right. Just because someone impregnates a person doesn't make them a father. Just like just because an embryo implants in a uterus doesn't make that person a mother. Plenty of people are just simply sperm donors and incubators.
"To be fair..." I have maybe received $200 in the last almost 7 years in CS from my ex husband. Just because there's a court order for CS doesn't mean the person pays it. I almost waived it and now I really wish I had because it's money that's never going to be paid. He'll probably die from an OD before anything gets paid off.
I also know someone who has raised their stepson since he was 2 years old, the kid has never met the sperm donor and never wants to meet the sperm donor (that came from the kid's own mouth a few years ago and is now 17 and graduating). My ex's sister, half her kids have never met their sperm donor either as he went to prison when they were 2, 1, infant and the other one she found out she was pregnant with after he went (for SA of a minor) and so he's a registered sex offender and they will probably never meet him even after they turn 18.
I can go on and on with cases of people who are simply no more than a sperm donor and incubator.
Have the day you deserve.
You are allowing your personal experiences, and those of people you know, to color your advice on this thread.
The OP in this thread had a one night stand, didn't use birth control or condom(s) and got pregnant. She decided after the fact to push the FATHER out of the picture while he was attempting to build a relationship with his infant child. She did this because she got back together with her husband and now wants to replace Dad with her husband. Per her postings she is hiding the baby from the Father.
He filed right away for paternity...this is not the action of a low life drug user/dealer. It is the action of a man who wants to have a part of his childs life.
Frankly, I'm rather amazed at how many of the responders on this thread aren't seeing what this OP is doing.
army judge
Super Moderator
The upstanding man, of whom you speak, also had a one night stand.
It took two to dance that classless tango.
There is lots of blame to spread all over both of the parties.
Not a single stranger in this thread knows what either of the two involved knows.
As far as shame and blame in their game, "res ipsa loquitor".
Zigner
Well-Known Member
Yes...and he's working to be in the life of his child, vs the OP who is working to prevent him from being in the life of his child.
If the father were here, I know that I (and many others) would be harsh with him about his choices as well.
Zigner
Well-Known Member
My ex owes me well into 6 figures. I once told her that if she sent me just $10, I'd forgive the $30k in arrears (at that time), yet I've never seen a dime in nearly 30 years. I get the futility, but it doesn't mean I didn't try.
army judge
Super Moderator
The true motivations of others is something an outsider can speculate about, but never really know.
The sperm donor might be exacting revenge on his paramour in an evil effort to ruin her marriage by pretending to care about being in the life of a child.
Only the actor knows if his/her true intentions are pure and genuine.
Zigner
Well-Known Member
I would agree that it's entirely possible that both the father and the mother have motives that are not putting the child first.
I'm sorry, but that was beyond rude. Your anecdotal examples do not relate to OP's situation or to Zig's comments.
So judgmental. As you say - only the actor knows his intentions. If we don't, neither do you, sir.
army judge
Super Moderator
Hmmm, I wrote about potential motivation(s) of the actors.
army judge
Super Moderator
Its a wonderful moment when those who appear to disagree begin to see things with more clarity and suddenly are more in agreement than either imagined.
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