Trying to serve my wife

[ChristianH86]

Thank you all for your help. I do have another question. Figured I'd ask here instead of a new post.

I have managed to serve my wife. The time between when i served her and when the court filed my proof of service, it is more than a week. From my understanding, my wife has 21 days to file a response.

The question is, is that 21 days from the day she was served. Or is it 21 days from when the court filed my proof of service? I fully intend to file for default as soon as that 21 days is up... just need to know when the timer started counting.

 

[doucar]

Thank you all for your help. I do have another question. Figured I'd ask here instead of a new post.

I have managed to serve my wife. The time between when i served her and when the court filed my proof of service, it is more than a week. From my understanding, my wife has 21 days to file a response.

The question is, is that 21 days from the day she was served. Or is it 21 days from when the court filed my proof of service? I fully intend to file for default as soon as that 21 days is up... just need to know when the timer started counting.

From the date of service. Just be aware that a default in a divorce case is easy to set aside.

 

[ChristianH86]

From the date of service. Just be aware that a default in a divorce case is easy to set aside.

What do you mean? They not file it right away? Seems kind of like ignoring their own rules. They give me the 'strict time rules' to follow, and her... they should follow them too.

 

[welkin]

What do you mean? They not file it right away? Seems kind of like ignoring their own rules. They give me the 'strict time rules' to follow, and her... they should follow them too.

If she doesn't answer, you may get a default judgment but as doucar points out , she can easily have it set aside and answer your complaint. I think that is what he means.

 

[Zigner]

The court (and society), generally, wants a matter to be heard on its merits.

 

[ChristianH86]

If she doesn't answer, you may get a default judgment but as doucar points out , she can easily have it set aside and answer your complaint. I think that is what he means.

From what I understand based on the paperwork I've received from the courts, she has 21 days to respond to the petition. If she doesn't, I can file for default. After default is granted, she has 30 days to appeal. After that, does she really have any power? The court has been pretty on top of this, so I don't see why it should take very long. Worst case scenario for me, she manages to hire an attorney and this could be drawn out for a while. However, I strongly believe the courts will favor me when they hear my testimony and see my evidence including video and audio recordings, eye witness testimonies, screenshots, calls logs messages and so on. She did me very very wrong. So it doesn't really matter either way. I just want my life back without the burden of this bs. I feel trapped.

 

[zddoodah]

The "deadline" to file a responsive pleadings is one of the most lax rules in any court in any state.

As was noted in one of the prior responses, there is a STRONG preference that cases be decided on their merits, not by default.

If, once the 21-day deadline has passed, you can seek default and a default judgment. If you get your default/judgment, your wife may seek to have it set aside. There are many grounds for this, but the most common is essentially, "oops" (usually referred to as "excusable neglect").

One thing, though. In a divorce, it may not matter - especially if all you're seeking is the termination of the marriage. On the other hand, if you're seeking alimony or she wants to seek alimony, that might be a very different thing. And, of course, if kids are involved, the court will bend over backward to decide the matter on the merits.

Note that there is no appeal when a default judgment is entered. The only remedy is a motion to vacate the default. If that is denied, then there would be a right to appeal.

I strongly believe the courts will favor me when they hear my testimony and see my evidence including video and audio recordings, eye witness testimonies, screenshots, calls logs messages and so on. She did me very very wrong.

What is all this about? What is it you're seeking other than the termination of the marriage?

 

[ChristianH86]

The "deadline" to file a responsive pleadings is one of the most lax rules in any court in any state.

As was noted in one of the prior responses, there is a STRONG preference that cases be decided on their merits, not by default.

If, once the 21-day deadline has passed, you can seek default and a default judgment. If you get your default/judgment, your wife may seek to have it set aside. There are many grounds for this, but the most common is essentially, "oops" (usually referred to as "excusable neglect").

One thing, though. In a divorce, it may not matter - especially if all you're seeking is the termination of the marriage. On the other hand, if you're seeking alimony or she wants to seek alimony, that might be a very different thing. And, of course, if kids are involved, the court will bend over backward to decide the matter on the merits.

Note that there is no appeal when a default judgment is entered. The only remedy is a motion to vacate the default. If that is denied, then there would be a right to appeal.




What is all this about? What is it you're seeking other than the termination of the marriage?

Thank you for your reply. At the time my wife abandoned the marriage, I was out of work for a few months due to a severe back injury. She threw away everything I owned, literally. Moved out of the home and did not provide any financial assistance whatsoever. Left me literally on the streets with nothing but the clothes on my back. She started a physical relationship with several other people. All can be proven. And other stuff. I am seeking alimony, and compensation for the things she threw out, as well as compensation for "extreme emotional anguish", as this really came out of no where and I was extremely hurt by her actions. I did seek counseling and I still am. There are no kids involved or even any real property. But she did clear out the bank accounts, and she did literally destroy/throw away/steal any and all personal property, including hugely sentimental items that a value cant be placed on. Left me with nothing. At the end, said we couldn't continue this marriage unless I was willing to have an open marriage. She stated about 3 weeks before this all happened that she wanted to cheat on me, I have a very clear video recording of that being said. Then she did. She left for a few days, told me she cheated, I left for about a day came back. Her and everything was gone. I had no home, no money, no job, no clothes and my wife was tossing herself around between multiple other people. I went from everything to absolutely nothing literally overnight.

 

[ChristianH86]

If you feel I've "said too much" feel free to delete my previous post.

 

[zddoodah]

You might get alimony. The court will divide marital property in a manner it determines to be equitable. You're not going to get anything for "extreme emotional anguish."

 

[ChristianH86]

You might get alimony. The court will divide marital property in a manner it determines to be equitable. You're not going to get anything for "extreme emotional anguish."

I will in default, which is why I'm pressing. And I didn't wanna say too much cause this is an online public forum. But I promise it gets worse, way worse.

 

[Zigner]

I will in default ...

You "will" what? Do you think that you will automatically get everything you ask for without having to prove anything if a default is entered? That's not how it works.

 

[zddoodah]

I will in default, which is why I'm pressing. And I didn't wanna say too much cause this is an online public forum. But I promise it gets worse, way worse.

The court might take "emotional anguish" into account when determining the division of marital property, but a divorce court is not going to award you damages for "extreme emotional anguish."

 

[Red Kayak]

What do you mean? They not file it right away? Seems kind of like ignoring their own rules. They give me the 'strict time rules' to follow, and her... they should follow them too.

Welcome to adulthood, where we live by the rules that are, not those that we think should be. Check your attitude at the courthouse door.

However, I strongly believe the courts will favor me when they hear my testimony and see my evidence including video and audio recordings, eye witness testimonies, screenshots, calls logs messages and so on.

That depends on whether you are allowed to present this "evidence".

... I was out of work for a few months due to a severe back injury. She threw away everything I owned, literally. Moved out of the home and did not provide any financial assistance whatsoever. Left me literally on the streets with nothing but the clothes on my back. She started a physical relationship with several other people..

No one cares who your wife was sleeping with. Get over it. Focus on more important things. Like, what marital assets she was spending on her boyfriends.

You can reasonably ask for the monetary value of the disposed of property, but proving the value of that may be difficult. Sentimental memories can't be quantified monetarily, generally.

Try to quantify monetary losses. Like, bare minimum cost of replacing your wardrobe and personal property. Marital assets that she walked off with - this includes bank accounts. If her actions affected your employment, try to quantify this in terms of decreased income from what you might otherwise have expected.

Don't overlook other marital assets, such as retirement account contributions made during the marriage.

 

[ChristianH86]

Question. So my spouse served me via email an answer to the divorce petition. However, the document she sent in unreadable. I downloaded several apps on my phone to view them to no prevail. I tried viewing the document on both a iPhone and android phone as well as two different PC's. Everything it doesn't load regardless. What do I do?

Question. So my spouse served me via email an answer to the divorce petition. However, the document she sent in unreadable. I downloaded several apps on my phone to view them to no prevail. I tried viewing the document on both a iPhone and android phone as well as two different PC's. Everything it doesn't load regardless. What do I do?

My spouse sent the answer via a work email that coworkers and managers can access and view. Idk if that matters or not. I believe the documents to be private, yet she sent them via a work email on a computer that others have access to. Does that matter at all?

 

[army judge]

What do I do?

If your assertion regarding your inability to see and read the email is truthful, the answer would likely be ruled to be unresponsive.

It might behoove you to notify the respondent of the problem you've encountered.

These types of issues can delay the outcome you seek, dissolution of the marriage.




Filing an answer with the court protects the respondent's right to have a say in a family law case. Here, find links to answer forms, and explanations of what an answer does, how to file it, and how to give it to the person who filed the suit (the petitioner).

What is an answer?
An answer is a legal form filed with the court by the respondent in a court case.

In a family law case, the petitioner is the person who starts the case by filing a petition with the court. The other side is the respondent.

Filing an answer with the court protects the respondent's right to have a say in the case.

If the respondent files an answer, the petitioner cannot finish the case unless:

The respondent agrees to, and signs, a final order, or
The petitioner gives the respondent legal notice of a contested hearing date.

How much does it cost to file an answer?
Filing an answer is free.


What is an answer?
Where can I get an answer form and how do I file it?
How much does it cost to file an answer?
What is the deadline to file an answer in a family law case?
Can I file my answer late?
What does it mean to be "served" with a citation and petition?
What happens if I'm served and don't file an answer?
Can I file an answer if I haven't been served?
What if I don't live in Texas?
What if I think the case was filed in the wrong county?
Does filing an answer mean my case is over?
Do I need a lawyer?
Can I hire a lawyer just to give me advice?
What is an answer?
An answer is a legal form filed with the court by the respondent in a court case.

In a family law case, the petitioner is the person who starts the case by filing a petition with the court. The other side is the respondent.

Filing an answer with the court protects the respondent's right to have a say in the case.

If the respondent files an answer, the petitioner cannot finish the case unless:

The respondent agrees to, and signs, a final order, or
The petitioner gives the respondent legal notice of a contested hearing date.
Where can I get an answer form and how do I file it?
TexasLawHelp.org has the following family law answer forms.

If you are the respondent in a divorce, review and use the guide My spouse filed for divorce. for instructions, do-it-yourself forms, and instructions.
If you are the respondent in a case involving children that is not a divorce, review and use the guide I need to respond to a SAPCR (custody) case. for information, the answer form, and instructions.
If you are the respondent in a paternity case, you can find the answer form in I need a paternity order guide in the "Instructions and Forms" tab under the "Agreed Paternity Case" section.
If you are the respondent in a SAPCR modification case, review and use the guide I need to respond to a modification case. for more information, do-it-yourself forms, and instructions.
If you are the respondent in a child name change case, review and use the guide I want to change my child's name. for more information, do-it-yourself forms, and instructions.
If you are the respondent in an annulment of marriage (no children) case, you may use the Respondent's Answer to Petition for Annulment guided form. It will ask you questions to create a form that you can download and file.
How much does it cost to file an answer?
Filing an answer is free.

What is the deadline to file an answer in a family law case?
If you have been served with a citation and petition, there is a 20-day deadline to file your answer.

To determine the deadline, find the day you were served on a calendar, count out 20 more days (including weekends and holidays) then go to the next Monday.
You must file your answer with the court on or before this date at 10 a.m. If the 20th day falls on a Monday, go to the next Monday. If the courts are closed on the day your answer is due, then your answer is due the next day the courts are open.
You can also try TexasLawHelp's deadline calculator, but you should double-check using a calendar, following the instructions above.
If you have not been served with a citation and petition, there is no deadline to file your answer. You can file your answer at any time after the petitioner files a petition (the form that starts the lawsuit) with the court. If you file your answer, the petitioner will not need to have you served.

Note: The deadline to file an answer may be different if you have a civil case (such as an eviction or other type of case filed in justice court). See I want to file an answer in a non-family law case.

Can I file my answer late?
Maybe. If the petitioner has not finished the case, you can file your answer after the deadline.

To find out if the petitioner has finished the case, call the district clerk's office where the case was filed. Ask the clerk if the judge has signed a final order in the case. If the judge has not signed a final order the case is still pending and you can file your answer late. If the judge has signed a final order the case is finished and it is too late to file your answer.

What does it mean to be "served" with a citation and petition?
Unless the case is agreed, the petitioner (the person who starts the case) must have the respondent (the other person) served with:

The "citation" (the form that officially notifies the respondent of the case), and
A copy of the "petition" (the form that starts the case).
If you are the respondent, there are several ways you can be served with the citation and petition:

You can be served in person by a constable, sheriff, or private process server.
You can be served by certified or registered mail (return receipt requested) by the clerk, constable, sheriff, or private process server.
You can be served by posting or publication if the petitioner can't find you.
You can be served any other way approved by the judge. For example, if the constable, sheriff, or private process server can confirm your home address or work address the judge could order that the citation and petition be posted to your door, left with anyone over 16 at your home or work, or mailed to you at your home or work address by regular mail.
What happens if I'm served and don't file an answer?
If you are served and do not file an answer on or before the deadline, the petitioner can finish the case without further notice to you once all the other waiting periods have passed. This is called a default judgment.

If the petitioner has finished the case, you may be able to ask the judge to set aside (cancel) the default judgment. Read How to Set Aside (Cancel) a Default Judgment to learn more.

Can I file an answer if I haven't been served?
Yes. If the other side (your spouse, your child's other parent, the Office of the Attorney General, or someone else) has filed a petition with the court, you can file an answer. The answer form tells the judge that you know about the case and have received a copy of the petition.

If you voluntarily file an answer (or waiver of service form), the other side will not need to have you formally served by a constable, sheriff, or private process server.

What if I don't live in Texas?
Talk with a lawyer before filing an answer, if you (1) do not live in Texas and (2) do not want a Texas Court to have the power to make orders that would impose a personal obligation on you. Such orders could include:

Dividing your property and debts,
Ordering you to pay spousal maintenance (in a divorce),
Ordering you to pay child support (if children are involved), or
Ordering you to pay court costs and lawyer's fees (if requested).
If you file an answer (or any other pleading) before filing a "special appearance" you will give up your right to argue that Texas can't make such orders because you live out of state.

Ask a Texas lawyer to help you determine if Texas has "personal jurisdiction" over you.

What if I think the case was filed in the wrong county?
Talk with a lawyer before filing an answer if you think the case was filed in the wrong county. If you file an answer before filing a motion to transfer venue, you may give up your right to argue that the case should be filed in a different county. Read Transferring a Family Law Case to Another Court for more information.

Does filing an answer mean my case is over?
No. Filing an answer does not mean your case is over. Your case is not over until the judge signs a final order.

Do I need a lawyer?
It's a good idea to talk with a lawyer about your situation (even if you decide not to hire one). A lawyer can explain your rights and options.

It's really important to talk to a lawyer if any of the following are true.

You are afraid for your or your children's safety.
Your case is contested (not agreed).
The petitioner has a lawyer.
You and the petitioner have a child with a disability.
The petitioner filed a paternity case and you are not sure about the identity of the child's father.
The petitioner filed for divorce and:
you or your spouse have a house, retirement, business, other valuable property or a lot of debt;
you need spousal maintenance (alimony);
you or your spouse have an ongoing bankruptcy or are planning to file for bankruptcy; or
you are in a same-sex marriage and you and your spouse have a child but there is no adoption or other court order stating that you are both legal parents.
If you need help finding a lawyer, you can:

Use our Legal Help Directory to search for a lawyer referral service, legal aid office, or self-help center in your area.
Check our Legal Events and Clinics page for free legal clinics in your area.
Use Ask a Question to chat online with a lawyer or law student.
If you are concerned about your or your children's safety, call the National Domestic Violence 24 Hour Hotline, 800-799-SAFE (7233). They can refer you to help in your community.

Can I hire a lawyer just to give me advice?
Yes! You can hire a family law lawyer just to give you legal advice, review your forms, draft a document, or help you prepare for a hearing. You may then be able to handle the other parts of your case yourself. Hiring a lawyer for a limited purpose is called limited scope representation.

How to File an Answer in a Family Law Case | Texas Law Help

Guides: Divorce: Answering Divorce Papers

How to Serve the Initial Divorce Papers | Texas Law Help

https://texaslawhelp.org/form/respondents-original-answer-divorce-set-or-d

 

[adjusterjack]

Question. So my spouse served me via email an answer to the divorce petition. However, the document she sent in unreadable. I downloaded several apps on my phone to view them to no prevail. I tried viewing the document on both a iPhone and android phone as well as two different PC's. Everything it doesn't load regardless. What do I do?

Look up the docket on the court's website. The response should have been filed with the court, in which case it will be in the case file where you can get a copy. That you can't read your copy doesn't make her unresponsive if it's readily available to you in the file.

My spouse sent the answer via a work email that coworkers and managers can access and view. Idk if that matters or not. I believe the documents to be private, yet she sent them via a work email on a computer that others have access to. Does that matter at all?

No.

It's all public record. The case file is available to anybody who wants to look it up.

 

[zddoodah]

So my spouse served me via email an answer to the divorce petition. However, the document she sent in unreadable. I downloaded several apps on my phone to view them to no prevail. I tried viewing the document on both a iPhone and android phone as well as two different PC's. Everything it doesn't load regardless. What do I do?

What format is the file in? Ultimately, if you can't open the file, respond and request a format that you can open or a paper copy.

My spouse sent the answer via a work email that coworkers and managers can access and view. Idk if that matters or not. I believe the documents to be private, yet she sent them via a work email on a computer that others have access to. Does that matter at all?

What "documents" are you referring to? Regardless, your wife likely has no obligation to respect your privacy concerns, and an answer to a divorce complaint is a public record document.

 

[ChristianH86]

Look up the docket on the court's website. The response should have been filed with the court, in which case it will be in the case file where you can get a copy. That you can't read your copy doesn't make her unresponsive if it's readily available to you in the file.



No.

It's all public record. The case file is available to anybody who wants to look it up.

Thank you for your reply. Thus far, the court has yet to file her answer. They have filed my default judgement request however, which was sent after her answer... supposedly. I can look up everything filed via 'MyCase' here in Utah. I would show screenshots, but I don't want it to be more public than it already is. So if anyone wants to DM, that'd be great. Sorry, just trying to understand everything and I don't want to miss anything. Ultimately, i just want a divorce, anything I can get from it financially is more of a F U to her than something I need. I was disappointed to find out this could take another two months. It's already been eight. I just want it over. At this point, her answer has NOT been filed by the court. I assume they may be having the same issue as I as far as opening the document. I have tried both iPhone and android phones as well as a laptop and desktop which both have all the programs to open such documents. I know as I have a DBA that requires such programs for tax and legal documents to be edited.. thank you again.

 

[adjusterjack]

Ultimately, i just want a divorce,

Well, what else did you ask for in your petition?